we have seriously no idea what to name this blog.

Urban Camouflage

2009-08-09T09:01:00.010+08:00

Click on image for larger view.
Please feel free to leave comments/thoughts/ideas in the comments section or the tagboard (though I'd prefer it in the comments section)

Lesson learned: windows journal tends to hang after you scribble too much in it.

Credits:
Kenneth Chen for contributing to the idea
Honghu for suggesting I upload to blogger directly (yes, I didn't know you could do that)

The Structure of the Army

2009-07-31T17:36:00.004+08:00

Click for enlarged picture (I think)

Someone please recommend a better image hosting site. Photobucket's messy.

Term 3

2008-07-11T00:18:00.002+08:00

Alas, Term 3 has arrived... The term where 'people start to behave weirdly', as coined by Shenxiang.

Today during physics lecture, Joel suddenly turned around for about 10 seconds, looked at Rayshio, and when they made eye contact, Joel gave a creepy smile, and turned back again to face the front.

Pretty creepy.

Anyway, I don't know about the rest of you, but for me. I've been using foolscap paper more than I use toilet paper. And thats bad, considering my active bowel movement.

Thats why I have this conspiracy theory. that the A levels is merely a top-secret highly-confidential expansionary economic policy undertaken by the Singapore government under the codename 'MOE'.

This expansionary policy's target is to encourage spending in the economy, without requiring much government spending (other than edusave, subsidies, educational bursaries and scholarships). You might to call into question my theory, but I will further justify it.

1. In preparation for A levels, you buy TYS, Guidebooks, prelim papers, stationery (lots of pen ink refills, mechanical pencil lead, writing paper etc), and if desperate enough, buying the Popular Bookstore Students' Card so you can get discount on all of the items listed above. See? All this additional spending by Consumers (in this case, students) increases consumption in the Singaporean economy without needing much prompting. Admit it. You buy all these guidebooks, TYS etc on your own accord, not forced. Hence, this is, in fact, induced spending. You are induced to spend by the A levels.

2. By mugging, you increase your brain capacity in the long-run. This solves the problem of brain-drain in the economy, and adds more value-addedness to the Singaporean worker. With enhanced mugging capabilities, Singaporeans of the future will be more productive. With this increase in productiveness, the productive capacity of the economy will increase, hence shifting LRAS rightwards (sorry, can't really draw diagram here). Hence, with this increase in LRAS, potential output increases, and economic growth can be attained, and inflation kept in check as well. Wow. 2 macro goals solved there.

3. Did I mention how much we spend on A levels? Oh wait I did. But I forgot to continue on that train of thought. Anyway, with the increase in Consumption, Aggregate Expenditure increases, since C is a component of AE. With this increase in AE, National Income will increase more than proportionately, via the multiplier effect.

Assumptions (Let me try and recall...) :
1. 4-Sector Economy, consisting of households, investments, government expenditure as well as exports and imports.
2. The economy in Singapore is operating below full employment
3. Singaporean kids are kiasu/humji/scared fail, and spend a lot of textbooks, tuition etc, increasing expenditure by 5 billion
4. Marginal Propensity to Consume = 0.7 (Singaporean students can be big spenders)
Marginal Propensity to Import = 0.1
Marginal Propensity to tax = 0.1
Marginal Propensity to Save = 0.1

The Multiplier works on the principle that spending generates income, which then generates more spending.

(Imagine the AE-NY diagram is here, it's rather difficult to draw here)

When Singaporean students spent $5 billion on TYS, they will require additional tuition in order to know how to do every TYS question. Hence, they will hire more tutors. Hence, TYS publishers and tutors gain additional income of $5 bn. When households receive the $5 bn, $0.5 bn will be saved, spent on imports, and paid in terms of taxes each, leaving behind $(0.7)(5) bn to be spent. Thus, there will be an increase in consumption of $3.5 bn. In order to meet this excess demand, firms will hire more factors of production to increase production (probably production of more TYS), including labour. When these households take home this income of $3.5 bn, again, $0.35 bn will be saved, spent on imports, and paid in taxes each, leaving behind $(0.7)(0.25) bn to be spent. The multiplier process would continue until the increase in Consumption and National income is negligible due to the existence of leakages such as savings, tax and import expenditure.
(Insert the table here, or try and imagine it's here, I'm too lazy to include it again).

To calculate the total change in national income, we can use the following equation:

Change in National Income = K x Change in Aggregate Expenditure, where K, the multiplier, is 1/Marginal Propensity to withdraw.
In this case, k = 1/0.3. Hence, overall increase in National Income would be 3.33 x $5 billion. Wow.

So, with this increase in spending on TYS, National Income can increase more than proportionately via the multiplier, and we can see that not only does NY increase more than proportionately, there is also Long Run Economic Growth, with the real output and employment increasing. Wow. Okay lets move on to the next point.

4. Increasing demand for TYS and tuition leads to increased competitiveness in the industry.
All the various TYS publishers will try to DIFFERENTIATE their product, INTEGRATING it together with other ideas to give a creative product (e.g. JC2/IP4 March Math Revision Package). Also, different tuition agencies and tutors will spring out, offering a variety of choices to consumers/students. With the high competition, cost-effectiveness can also be ensured, and cost of production will be kept low, hence cost savings increase, which may be passed on to consumers in the form of lower prices of TYS. Tutors will also engage in 'creative' techniques to engage their students, hence 'separating XYZ tuition agency from the rest'.

So, as we can see from the justifications above, I can conclude that my conspiracy theory is valid. No need for evaluation, my whole post makes sense, and therefore requires no evaluation. It is flawless. Perfect.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Disclaimer: Lots of assumptions, and some concepts may or may not be correct. Reproduce this essay at your own risk. The author holds no responsibility for any damage caused by the use of this essay or whatsoever.

I'd bet Ms. Heng would be pretty proud of me if she read this post!

towards the end, the grass gets less green

2008-06-02T22:13:00.004+08:00

in my room there's a calendar i drew up to help me keep track of the number of days before the major exams hit. the A levels are too close for comfort, of course, like any responsible jc2 student recognizes. yep, they're gonna hit hard on you soon enough: its inevitable.

but what i also realise, too, only recently, is that along with the days towards the A levels goes the number of effective days i can spend with the entire ip4 cohort. is separation inevitable, too? and if so, would it hurt? how will it be like when there no longer exist common lectures and tutorials in the place we call NJC?

there is major cause for concern here, dude. after december this year, the guys are going into the army, while the girls are going to be scattered so broadly around the world the only thing that can beat them at spreading, i would suspect, would be the H5N1 virus among chickens. (not among humans, hopefully.) everyone wants to live the american dream, no, the study abroad in some place ive never been to before, meet all kinds of people dream. prove me wrong, but i somehow always get the feeling that most who take SATs will sail away to the distant lands of America in search of new adventures, like [drumroll] Indiana Jones and the University of Some American State!

which brings us to the stale old axiom of the grass being greener on the other side. do you seriously think it'd be a fantasy over at the US? or the UK? wow, im gonna enjoy a lot more freedom there! wow, im gonna meet people ive never met before, especially the white kids you see on tv! and wow wow wow kylie minogue that woman with the wow song (its retardedly awful to the ear) actually lives in the US! the creators of WOW (world of warcraft) are there too! but did you also realise that with a free society nobody's gonna hold back and not point fingers at you labelling you as a stereotypical asian who knows jackie chan, kungfu, wields nunchucks, has ninjas as bodyguards, and is also short, dim-witted, incompetent and downright stupid? i seriously think this whole going overseas to complete your education thing is overrated. perhaps im too xenophobic at that. but anyway, while i acknowledge that the best rated universities are in fact in the western countries, i still hold fast to the notion that the west isnt much better than here at home.

coming back to the original point, im sure you know how it is to feel left behind. or left alone, for that matter. its exactly what i foresee in less than a years' time. can it be helped? i guess there's no way to hold everyone back for another 4 years at njcip, because, first, everyone's so sick of the school already, and second, we've got to grow.

then what's the issue here?

yeah, what's the issue here?

if everyone's acknowledged who their best buddies are, who they're gonna keep in contact after the ip course, what's the problem with leaving the people they've probably never interacted with for 4 years?

yeah, so there's no issue at all.

no, but there is.

the most ridiculous cartoon ever

2008-02-21T20:10:00.002+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWmTlxJ-5Ag

due to the censorship standards in singapore, i refuse to comment on the above video.

Why you don't start doing your tutorials or revise your integration.

2008-02-06T18:39:00.000+08:00

let me present to you a theory explaining why you will not spontaneously do your tutorials and write your essays.

this theory is firmed rooted in thermodynamics (entropy) and chemical energetics, which are based on the irrefutable laws of physics.

2nd law of thermodynamics: "in an isolated system, a process can only occur if it increases the total entropy of the system." this means that in a spontaneous change, the degree of disorder must increase.

as time proceeds in your final year in jc, you find that things just keep stacking up. this is the natural increase in entropy. you see more disorder, or rather, an increasing number of things to attend to in your daily life.

but as more tutorials are thrown into your system, you feel a build up of pressure. this is your enthalpy.

chem students can tell instantly that a compound higher in energy is unstable and will react readily to form a more stable product.

if this is so, why dont you do your tutorials, since it'll lower your enthalpy, which is your stress level?

this is because of your activation energy of the reaction between you and your tutorial. refer to Fig 1.1.

Fig 1.1

when you handle a subject you dread, your activation energy is high, and therefore you will not spontaneously work on that tutorial, even though the enthalpy heat change (delta H) is -ve.

but when you do something that does not lower your enthalpy, such as playing everyone's favourite game DOTA, the activation energy is extremely low, and entropy also increases. hence is becomes a very spontaneous reaction.

to increase the rate of reaction by reducing activation energy, certain catalysts may be used. these are your math lecture tests, and, of course, your favourite math tutor that likes to f*ck colin up.

but beware. if everyone keeps doing his tutorials, enthalpy heat change is negative, so you'll release your energy into the universe. if this happens, eventually, the whole universe will be equivilant in terms of heat content (since there is a perpetual balancing out of heat between you and the universe) such that entropy of the whole universe is uniform. no more heat transfer will take place, and the HEAT DEATH WILL CLAIM OUR LIVES.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heat_death

so next time your mom tells you to do your homework, tell her that you'll cause the death of the universe by doing so.

Les Argument ala Educatio

2008-02-06T18:36:00.000+08:00

P1: you receive an average of about 1.73205 sets of notes every week.
P2: you have A levels this year.
P3: you also have some cca that probably allows you go home at about 7 (or later).
------
C> your life is quite shitted up.

additional premise:
P4: you are able to tell me that 1.73205 in P1 is root 3.
------
C2> life is quite shitted up, but youre so in tune to the rhythm of school that youre able to subconsciously make connections between what you see at a relaxed state (i.e. surfing blogs) and what you remember through religiously doing your math tutorials.

school. is the subject matter of this essay. note that in this writing i shall not be doing to school what is colloqially termed "bitching". in contrast, i shall lavishly praise school so as to raise the morale of you fellow readers.

first of all, i must say that school is a absolutely wonderful environment for all manners of activity, in which stress is an existence that never finds home.

...

(i find it really difficult to continue being hypocritical.)

(if someone has the emotional capacity to write a beautiful essay in praise of school like that, i advise you to kindly stay away from me.)

so well, let's talk about school.

miss champagne once told our gp class that she sees the j2 year as

"...like an express train. it starts off slow, because of the weight it has to carry, but when it gets started, it accelerates to frightening speeds. now, in january, the train has just begun to run. in february you'll start to experience the full magnitude of the speed."

two thoughts came to my mind upon hearing this analogy. the first, the most immediate, and strikingly instinctive thought was whether she, with credentials as an MOE approved gp teacher, described the train's motion accurately physically. i didnt know why i had to do that, but i just did. probably it was in my nature to put things into a scientific perspective. anyway, in the end, i deduced that she had not made a statement absurdly nonsensical to physics students.

the other thought, obviously, was that she was probably right about our sad lives ahead in j2. january has already been the most tiring month so far in my life as a student. if its much worse for the rest of the year, it probably spells disaster. the train might fly off its tracks and rocket into space. of course that's a metaphor.

it would be okay if students everywhere experience the same thing at some point in their lives. how can you lose out in a global phenomenon? but the fact is, apparently many students in the world are not subject to such intensity. daniel returned again to our school some days ago, and i had the chance to briefly talk to him about his australian adventures. and, as expected, he proved me right about singapore's system being tougher.

must quality education really be as demanding as what we experience now? H1, H2 and H3 are creations of the singapore education professionals. (yes, these are the very people who might live opposite your house in bukit timah driving a BMW.) why is it that people who live in similar houses in the states and who drive BMWs be so much more liberal about their education system? what accounts for this difficulty gap?

the answer probably lies in the fact that singapore is an open NIE which faces challenges on continued growth. without a strong capable mass of academically wise young adults, it is hard for singapore to overcome obstacles that loom over the future economy. more economically developed countries such as the US, have the population advantage, as well as the economy advantage. therefore they can afford to offer more relaxed educational schemes. makes sense? probably. probably not.

in any case, it amounts to one thing. go study le.

Coursework

2008-02-04T18:56:00.000+08:00

WARNING: Brainstorming in Progress. Strong use of incoherent language.

Happened to be having lunch with Shuning last Tuesday, when the conversation ended up about friends, and her mentioning something like "our lives are governed by our timetables". Come to think of it, mine is. Close to all my weekdays' day time is restricted by that little a5 sized paper I carry around. Is yours?

The bell rings, assembly ends, you wonder what your next period is. You take out your timetable. (Actually, yes, take it out now.) Look at those little squares in them. Look at how segmented your life actually is now.

"Oh, first period is GP. I'll be seeing A, B, and C".
Then the bell rings, and
"Oh okay, chem. I'll be seeing E, F, G."
"sorry, A,B,C, we'll have to talk some time later"

Maybe it's just me, and me having an odd combi (I empathize with all you odd-combi-ers out there!). Thing is, almost every single little square in the timetable refers to a new bunch of faces. A bunch of faces which I interact with based on where the lines start and end. I might want to chat for a while more, but sorry, bell's gone, gotta go. Duno if this is true or not, but do you not-so-odd combi people have more friends that actually go to the same classes as you?

Back to the timetable.
Segments, like little cells.
Cells, or rather, pockets of time with a clearly demarcated start and end. Start time, and end time. Deadline. Dateline or Deadline? Dead-date-line.

Think of it.

How many things have deadlines these days?
Let's look at LPG's diagram.

Past:
[]-------[]-------[]

Present:
[][][][][][][][][][][]

Where [] represents a segment of time.
Are we over-living our lives?
What's happening to transition states, the in-betweens of phases? Why does my food suddenly turn bad when it hits tomorrow, and not slowly sour?

Perhaps nowadays, people are so caught up with deadlines, with end times, that the imaginary barrier between events is growing taller and taller.

And this barrier, this fence, it separates polar opposites, what comes before and after the deadline is totally different.

Hmm.

I'm losing control of my thoughts! I think i should...

=END=

If you managed to make sense of it, congrats! This is art making. Documenting random ideas and memories of ideas from this afternoon somewhere, so i can work on them later. I just happened to be on the computer when I realized I should 'pen' these ideas down somewhere.

K. Workwork.

a typical post

2008-01-20T22:37:00.000+08:00

the man in the video in one of the CAAL sessions was being absolutely typical. when asked to comment on children with disabilities working to earn their worth by making handicraft-like stuff, the 30-odd executive (yet another office worker in singapore's bottomless pool) commented,

"this goes to show that the disabled are capable, and with determination and hard work, anything is possible."

if there's an A level subject called typical response, cambridge markers would have been shocked at the degree of proficiency this guy has. well, then again, singaporean students would ace the subject along with him.

this reminds me of the time we went to that basketball match between singapore slingers and some random australian team. what was devastating was that, throughout the whole match, the commentator alternated between these words: "BIG D", "DEFENCE", "STRONG D". never mind his rudeness towards the away team. his lack of variety is enough to piss anyone off.

next time, they might as well use a computer comment generator. just type your keywords, press enter, and let the computer give the comments through the speakers. now computer technology is quite advanced in commentating, i must comment. colin's whatever soccer game is able to give realistic responses to different moves in the field. which i found amazing, apparently. (thought you should know)

what i derive from the above observations is that singaporeans lack variety. probably good humour too. i cant understand why people laugh at the really dammit-its-just-not-funny jokes. like, for example,

context: someone mispronounced geography into geomancy.

"funny" response: its geography, not geomancy! geomancy is this *bends arms so they're parallel to the floor, looks at the arms and spins around* (as in looking at 八卦 action)

i swear, if you find that funny, i'll give you like, my monthly allowance.

one of the reasons why i do boredlela is to fight a proxy against such bland, what-the-hell humor. variety and creativity seems to be dying in our community.

come on, people, the next time you speak, after judging whether it is a sensitive remark, also consider whether its a creative remark. typical response is not an A level subject; GP is.

now, you might wonder what i'd say if i were that executive. its this:

" - "

see you at talentime 2008.

语文点滴 --- 第一课

2008-01-05T21:09:00.000+08:00

hi guys; 大家好!

welcome to our very first language reimaging programme. this programme is aimed at creating better language habits for our singaporean students, in order for our future generation to perform well in dealing with the chinese from the republic of china.

in today's lesson, we aim to help our readers kick the habit of using this terrid (horrid + terrible = terrid) word:

liddat.

what the hell does this word anyway? a quick check in the dictionary tells you there's no such word. in a singaporean context, this word is derived from a poor pronounciation of "like that", which in turn is derived from the chinese word 一样.

hence our grand suggestion for this week's lesson is: to use the beautiful synonyms of 一样!

there are lots of such words: 如，似乎，~然，仿佛，犹如，一般。

instead of:

he like damn angry liddat leh!

why not:

he 似乎很 angry.

instead of:

he's like an idiot liddat leh he.

why not:

he 仿佛 idiot 一般.

instead of:

you dont liddat leh!

why not:

you dont 如此放肆!

that's all for our lesson today. we hope you would take the effort to incorporate this into your daily lives, 就如我一样。

Things to note in the year 2008

2008-01-01T20:50:00.000+08:00

While I'm chionging my last minute homework (I.E. GP articles, grammar book, whats left of the 26 pages of maths(which is quite alot), chem stuff ARGH, three quarters of the physics homework), I got bored so yup here's an entry, but don't expect much of it haha.

Things to note in the year 2008.

1. Don't use toilet bowl, if the lid is down.

Why? From experience, after you open the lid, the rest of the toilet is engulfed in what you call, 'tear gas' (just brings tears to your eyes). Under that lid is probably someone's poop remains, so don't lift the lid. BAD BAD idea.

2. Don't shake hands with a guy whose shirt is tucked in ALL THE WAY.

Why? Well simple. It probably means he just took a poop. There is simply no other logical reason why someone's shirt would be tucked in all the way. Unless you want me to start jeopardizing our foreign relation policies.

3. Don't pon math lecture.

Me, XD, Gen and Wilbert got screwed for just being late last year. Imagine if you pon. Wah GG sia. Next test will have university content included.

4. Tell your teacher that you have 'important lesson' during the lunch periods on Wednesdays.

Well, this worked for Johnson and I. Ms. Wong eventually gave up and let us go off on time to run down and buy chicken cutlet. When I say run I really mean we ran.

5. When buying chicken cutlet, make sure you're queuing way in front of Wilbert.

Wilbert, it seems, marks the end of the queue because after he queues, the queue doesn't grow in length, it just grows sideways. So if you're behind him, you're screwed. No choice but dar bao, or gobble down your cutlet.

6. Be a friend of Softball.

Yup, privileges include Captain's surprise (Jem's treat, whether willing or not), and trips to Mt. Sinai. Also, you will have abs of steel. Thanks coach.

7. Cut your hair before school starts.

Sigh. Need I say more?

8. Get silver or above for napfa.

Simple. Don't want to go army 2 months early.

9. Wash your hands after a trip to the washroom.

Wash with soap if possible, especially after a poop. Nobody likes secret ingredients in their food during lunchtime.

10. STUDY.

Don't want to screw up A levels. Simple. Study!

Happy 2008. Haha told you not to expect too much from this post.

Polaris: special report

2007-08-09T23:20:00.000+08:00

I wish I signed up for the Taiwan Immersion Programme. If you know me, you wouldn't have to guess why:

XXL Crispy Chicken

A large, tender and succulent piece of boneless chicken breast, painstakingly marinated to perfection, coated with imported flour and fried to a golden crisp. A special blend of oriental spices is sprinkled on top of the crust, and the chicken is cut to bite sized pieces before being served. The XXL Crispy Chicken is best
eaten while hot.

超大雞排

將鮮肥多汁的超大雞胸肉腌至入味，并抹上一層特制面粉，入鍋炸至呈金黃色后，再撒上一層特殊的亞洲混合香料，使其完全滲透溶入雞肉的蜜汁里。熱呼呼的超大雞排，入口后咬勁十分脆韌，感覺确實一級棒。

Oh well.At least they have it in Singapore!

to all dota junkies out there

2007-07-12T20:38:00.000+08:00

Polaris: penny for your thoughts, but a dollar for your insides

2007-07-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

Live Earth 2007.

07.07.07

Wowwhee.

Seriously, do you think it would really achieve its purpose?
I dare bet a million bucks that at least half of them promoting the concert couldn't care less about global warming.

Seriously, if you were really concerned, you wouldn't be wearing green.

You'd be busy trying to save paper instead of doodling all over.
You'd be making every effort to stop pollution, stop the release of CFCs, doing your part by using less styrofoam packages but that's impossible, looking at how many people 'dar bao' their food in styrofoam containers.
You'd be busy trying to recycle, not throw things away all the time.

You'd be filling up the damned recycling bins, man.

So, just think before the next time you say 'wear green!' or 'WHEE! LIVE EARTH 2007!', what you've done to really play your part in the fight against global warming.

Spreading the word? Really?

Are you just mouthing what others are mouthing, or are you actually following what you say, and practice what you preach?

I bet that after the concert itself, most people would just forget about global warming issues and return to their normal lives, maybe recalling moments from the performances, but missing out on the true message, defeating the purpose of the whole concert itself.

P.S, wouldn't it be ironic if the concert itself consumed so much energy that the depletion of resources would be accelerated?

Picture this: millions worldwide simultaneously switching on their television sets, then suddenly a major worldwide blackout. Hah.

Ironies in life.

Fucking hypocrites, die bitches, die.

'Cos that's the only way for Earth to Live. People won't give a damn, it's inevitable.

God save the queen, but what about the Earth?

Good Game, Good Night.

ambivert: random rant

2007-06-15T13:48:00.000+08:00

adun toridas, blog.

glad to be back home after these many decades.

havent been updating this place for what? months! never forgot about it though. been always citing being too busy as a reason. truth is, when was i really busy? i never was, and i guess i was just too lazy.

this holidays has so far been such a drag. yes, i have been mugging, and did some form of mugging plan as well. ive started mugging since the first week. and except for a few busy or lazy days, ive never stopped mugging. went through the past notes, did the math revision package (oh btw someone told me that there's a math paper on km gotta.go.download.and.do.it.soon.=/), did physics TYS (Jason's idea of reg's favourite book. well, Jason, its everyone's favourite book now.), pw interview, survey, blah blah blah.

WHICH GAVE ME A NIGHTMARE. literally.

about 5 days or so ago i dreamt about suddenly returning to school. i cant remember where i started off, but it was a really WEIRD dream. there was aristal going on in LT1. i have no idea why i dreamt about aristal, and its beyond my comprehension why it was held at, of all the good performing arts theatres in singapore, LT1. the insides of the LT1 had changed however, and it looked more like a cinema. (now i realise that LT1 was possibly a reference to the june hols chem lecture on thermodynamics.) anyway, 10 minutes into the show i went out to the toilet behind the lt right beside the bookshop. to my amazement, at the basin i found my toothbrush and cup from home. there was no toothpaste though, so i had to borrow toothpaste from someone right beside me at the other basin. i cant remember who, probably its just a random guy in our school. SO I STARTED BRUSHING MY TEETH. LOL YOU DONT SAY ITS RANDOM.

when i finished brushing my teeth i went back to aristal with the random guy from the toilet. we found that aristal had already ended, and people were going out of the LT already. in the darkness i found weiliang and colin still sitting at their seats. somehow i got weiliang to follow me out and we went down into the atrium. there we saw, adding to the complete randomness of the dream, a bookfair right in front of the general office. weiliang and i checked the stuff out. i found at one corner a stack of geography A levels papers (it wasnt like TYS, coz it was like a stack of photocopied test papers ripped off from the actual A levels.) i also found similar papers for physics and chem. so i bought them, and paid about more than 20 bucks.

what happened after that, i didnt remember. damn weird dream. horrifying that it took place IN SCHOOL. even more horrifying, i actually dream of buying test papers.

---

now let's move on to our second story. as you can probably guess, im becoming some sort of a mugging and working.. person. which i wasnt in the past. it only started this year, and maybe its because of the complete change of the academic programme in j1. participating or tried to participate in a lot of things too. applied for sapphire scholars, and hey! you know what? they never sent me any notification to say that ive been rejected for the programme, so i guess they accepted me, but ive been ponning EVERY SINGLE activity the sapphire scholars participated in so far. i wonder why marianne tan doesnt come after me, but let's keep this low alright? i wanna continue ponning and not get noticed. im pretty sure a lot of other people are doing the same thing too. like ernest. we're all sapphire scholars. awesome.

---

this morning as i checked through my phone's memory, i found something deeply nostalgic that brought me back to the good ole' days. it was a video of gen poking kwokie. we used to sit together in the same group according to the table arrangement (back then the classroom was still arranged as a few groups of a cluster of 5-6 tables), together with shihui and biqing. back then kwokie was still that noobshit kid (HE STILL IS NOW, HELL YEAH) who watchs pokemon and gets intimidated easily by stupid things like shihui's moo. and gen's poking. shihui was at her retarded best at that moment. although i wasnt much of a good person. BUT we were all FIFTEEN. not like this bullshit SEVENTEEN (which appropriately is also the all time worst magazine) now. IP1 was DA BEST. zhirong was the complete poser. rayshio was the even lousier poser noob than zhirong. kwokie and i broke bones trying to what? breakdance at the space outside our class and got caught and insulted by marianne tan. ernest was uh... still the way he is now. LOL AND TIS HAD THAT DAMN NOOB HAIR AND SPECS.

even when we're supposed to face our lives as it is and not cling on to the past at this moment, i still damn miss IP1. sadly, we cant go back now. not a chance.

Champions League Special Report

2007-05-26T16:04:00.000+08:00

Goal number 1 - and that was only the beginning...

Helplessly stunned, caught wrong-footed by Superpippo's deflection

superpippo, hero of the day

Lightning does strike twice on some occasions

"It floats!"

Milan: Champions 2007. No other team more fitting than Milan...

Special report by Ernest Eu:

It was not just any normal day. It was the day Milan would win their 7th Champions league trophy. The Rossoneri, dressed in their away colours of white, would take on liverpool, in a re-match of the disasterous 2005 final in Istanbul, where Milan threw away a 3-0 lead to lose in a penalty shoot out.

Carlo Ancelotti would not let the same mistake happen again.

The experience of Filippo Inzaghi, or the youth Alberto Gilardino?

Inzaghi got his start, and firmly repaid Ancelotti's faith by scoring the 2 goals for Milan to beat Liverpool 2-1.

A deflection in the 44th minute and a second in the 82nd minute was all it took to exaporate the liver-pool.

Liverpool would not go on to be 6-times European Champions. All they could take back was a medal and a consolation 86th-minute consolation goal from Dirk Kuyt.

Milan: Champions 2007

Milan, Milan, solo con te
Milan, Milan, sempre per te.

Revenge is a dish best served 2 years cold.

Cheers Beer Commercial

2007-05-07T20:22:00.000+08:00

can't remember where i got this link from, but.. another lame thingy. enjoy!

Beanbag: Bush Finally Comes Clean

2007-05-03T19:17:00.000+08:00

Must Watch.

ambivert: beautiful

2007-04-15T15:44:00.000+08:00

dont dismiss this as silly right away. let puff the magic dragon bring you on a journey to rediscover childhood innocence.

im being serious here. this isnt meant to be something lame and out of place.

"we're not smoking, we're growing up."

Beanbag & Anonymously Anonymous: untitled

2007-04-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

snuggled in her white fluffed pillows
she embraced the moon
with petals -roses, delicately brushing past her nose
caressing her shoulders
lillies by her side, she thinks of her lost lover
his staff, his steed gone forever

scarlet hands, lover killed
streaks of dark black rain
alone, cold, even the warm whiskey doesnt wane
and the voice in the rafters whispered
"come back, mysterious stranger
let me believe in you, again"

fading in and out
glass clinked
dresses cringed.
is it the end or the beginning?
the cry of the night, a pile
of wrinkled linen sprawled

Beanbag: The Half-sold Man

2007-04-01T11:00:00.000+08:00

While ambivert is (presumably) doing windmills while mugging and finishing chem, math and physics tutorials, and polaris um.. mugging, i was doing qing-ming-jie stuff with my extended family today.

There was the usual stuff - finding the two graves that we're supposed to clean up (among the billions of others that are at the graveyard) , burning paper money and incense sticks (also known as joss sticks), repainting the chinese characters on the tombstones, putting the funny coloured paper on the grass, and (literally) drenching yourself in smoke so you have an excuse to take a long, warm bath after returning home.

Then there was the not-so-usual stuff - like the story of the half-sold man.

I overheard my grandpa's sister-in-law talking about him and i asked her to tell me the story, which i shall try to repeat here in as much detail as possible.

The Story of the Half-sold Man
okay, before i begin the story, let's get you acquainted with the characters:
"Pa" - my grandfather's father
"Ma" - my grandfather's mother
"Uncle" - my grandfather's uncle (my grandfather's father's tang di)
"Gor" - my grandfather's elder brother (2nd son of the family)

Long before our time, like long long ago, around the japanese-occupation era or maybe even earlier, there lived a poor chinese family, blahblahblah, my grandfather's family. They were horribly poor, so poor in fact that they couldn't even afford rice, oil, and salt. In other words, they couldn't even feed themselves properly.

Luckily, Pa, the father of the family, had a cousin, Uncle, who was running a small provision shop. Uncle wasn't doing too badly, and since they were family after all, offered to loan some rice, oil, and salt to Pa's family. Pa would have to pay Uncle back eventually.

Unfortunately, life didn't go too well for Pa and his family, and even after quite a while (maybe a few years or something?), Pa was still really poor and living off Uncle. By then he owed Uncle around $100-or-so (and this was a huge sum of money at that time).

If you didn't know (and you wouldn't know anyway 'cos I haven't told you yet), Uncle was all married and stuff but he didnt have any sons at all (or maybe no kids at all - I'm not too sure). People at that time placed a huge emphasis on having sons to carry on the family name. Since Uncle had no sons, and Pa had a few, and Pa owed him a large some of money, after much negotiations, Pa and Uncle came to the agreement that Pa would "sell" Uncle a son, in exchange for negating all the rice-debts Pa owed Uncle.

However, Ma said, "NO". To her, one son was worth much more than $100-ish, and she refused to sell Uncle one of her sons. But Pa's family still owed Uncle a great big deal, so after more debating and negotiations and maybe lots of arguments and stuff, Ma agreed to sell Uncle half a son. And so Gor, Pa and Ma's second son, was given to Uncle.

Gor has been with Uncle ever since that day, till Gor passed away, and now half of Gor's descendents supposedly belong to our family. But due to complications (government things perhaps), our family decided to forego that half-selling thing, and just let all of Gor's descendents take on the surname (thus belonging) to Uncle's family.

Pretty cool, right? I didn't know i actually had this funky a family history till today. This really made my day. (this is when you get jealous of me and start whining) lawl.

Beanbag: Capoeira

2007-03-31T12:55:00.000+08:00

Capoeira's a martial art created by african slaves that were exported to brazil or something like that. It's kinda like breakdancing-fighting.

If anyone here plays WoW, the troll dance has some capoeira-ish movements.

It's pretty cool. check it out.

ambivert: the scamming sale

2007-03-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

something that happened today is worth a mention. though it was one of those little things in life, it affected me, as well as kaisheng, deeply.

i was tending to the shooting club's fund raising booth during lunch. people came and went, asked for the prices, gave witticism, complained that the items were expensive, and either bought some stuff or simply left. truth is, some items on sale were not really cheap, especially the small tube of haribo, priced at $1. when you know it costs only imnotgonnatellyouhowmuchitcostssogofigureyouself.

some time in the middle of my shift, long came to our stall (kaisheng was there then too). ip patrons were quite rare, so i was surprised. and i felt rather awkward coz long is one of my ip mates. (i mean, the whole point about the sale was to cheat people money. cheating your friends isnt exactly satisfying you know.)

"im going to buy one of those haribos," long said. "how much is it?"

i had the feeling that the question was addressed to me. but i just couldnt bring myself to tell him the price! because i knew how cheaply we bought it for. so, ashamed to face him, i turned away for a moment. i considered offering him a cheaper price, but in front of other shooting club members also manning the stall, i knew i couldnt do it.

and that's when someone showed long an index finger. One Dollar Please.

without hesitation, long dug into his wallet to fish out a $1 coin, and selflessly contributed it to the sale. he didnt even complain about the price. he just kept his face straight, and gave us the money without reluctance.

when he left, i was inundated with overwhelming guilt and shame. i could have just given him half price or something. after all, i was one of people in charge of the sale (and also one of those people benefiting from it). yet i wasnt able to do that. long, on the other hand, was so compromising. he knew the price was high, yet he didnt react at all. he willingly gave up part of his allowance for the sake of supporting his friends.

I DAMN RESPECT YOU LONG.

if basketball or 02 or any organisation youre affiliated to does fund raising/organise some event in the future, i'll definitely support you.

ambivert:

2007-03-18T15:53:00.000+08:00

if boredlela were a band like blink,

i have no idea where my guitarist + vocalist and drummer went.

(yeah so im the bassist + lead vocalist)

sigh. wish i had something to write these days. too lazy i guess. school's killing my creativity.

destroy.the.school.to.the.hell.with.education.

SPACEBAR.SPOIL.

ambivert: some cool articles

2007-03-05T22:22:00.000+08:00

when the WikIP goes back online (hopefully, if nothing goes wrong), here are some articles that you might seriously consider adding.

1. Lame AR!

Lame AR!, also spelled LAMEAR!, or LAMEAH!, is a term coined by Johnson Lee of 05ip04 in 2006, ........[reasons and origins]......

In the weeks following its conception, Lame AR! achieved tremendous popularity, most notably among The Guys, selling more than 5 million copies worldwide, and ranking #2 on US billboard charts.

Contributers to Lame AR!'s mainstream popularity (by using the term frequently and loudly) include: Zhirong, Colin, Jem, Xuandao,.... and of course, Johnson himself.

Lame AR!'s meaning is often unclear, as it can be used in virtually any situation. People suggest that it is simply used interchangably with common exclamations like WAHLAO or what the helll! [citation required]

"Malaysia has a really bad soccer team. They lost to Singapore."
"LAME AR!"

*Sees Reg mugging on dance party night*
"LAME AR!"

*Stumbles upon terence and jostar as they *ahem*
"LAME AR!"

etc.

2. Hui Jia Lo!

3. Le Sux.

4. ohmyfreakinggosh-ern-ern-ern

5. xemox

6.

This article is a stub. You can help boredlela by expanding it. (as in seriously.)

ambivert: doh.!

2007-02-24T18:16:00.000+08:00

2 weeks earlier, during one of the random lunch breaks, elaine sng walked up to me and said, "xuandao, your hair is so curly."

response:

.

wow. i really didnt know that. maybe by some freak accident my hair started to curl one morning when i woke up, and i received a huge shock when i found that it couldnt be straight again.

and again, a few days ago, gladys tan peiwen (portrait of whom prominently displayed below) asked me, "xuandao did you perm your hair or something? its so curly."

response:

.

rolls eyes.

sighs.

and even my bestest best friend weiliang (exact same combi, yo) asked me why my hair is so curly.

clearly, there is a need to clarify about the nature of my hair.

1. no, its not curly. its wavy. slightly wavy.
2. no, i didnt perm it.
3. no, i didnt rebond it.
4. no, i never thought of rebonding it.
5. yes, it is always messy because its so wavy.
6. if you took a strand of my hair and put it on your palm, it will read 'C'. but if its longer it'll read 'O', not 'S'.
7. no, no freak accidents happened such that one morning when i woke up i discovered that my hair turned curly and i screamed and jumped around in exasperation when i realised it couldnt be straight again.
8. no, gladys, you cant cut my hair for me.

doh.!

ambivert: fun at orion lecture

2007-02-16T21:54:00.000+08:00

orion lecture on thursday was damn sad.

i signed up for the one on "chemical bonding". the teacher in charge of orion made it sound very hopeful when he talked to us on wednesday. he said, "this will expose you to the different perspectives to chemical bonding, and you get to see the different approaches to it."

how very convincing.

just one day later, when we stepped into lt5 for the talk, we were greeted with a slide with something strangely unfamiliar to us: the periodic table. like, WOW. to quote andrew, "so exciting! we are going to learn these stuff for the FOURTH time!" (once in sec 1, second time in ip1, third time in ip2)

so we took our seats in the damn-blardy-cold lt5 and held on to some desparate hopes of discovering an entirely new dimension of chemical bonding.

when the notes were handed out, hopes were dashed. 23 pages, nothing at all we havent learned. ionic bonding, covalent bonding, metallic bonding, bond length, structure of the ionic compound NaCl, how aqueous ions conduct electricity, *lists everything from sec 1 and ip1 chem notes*. i felt as if i was a p6 student from national primary school.

some really awesome moments:

"in the periodic table, the vertical columns are called groups, and the horizontal rows are called periods."

she spends 5 long minutes or so going through 1 slide on the 3 types of chemical bonding. images provided courtesy of some chem textbook company.

"now i want you to pair up with a partner and brainstorm about the different ionic compounds you can think of. AS MANY AS POSSIBLE! QUICK!" i bet she would have been impressed if i showed her the (NH4)2SO4

"now, im going to show you a video. be VERY attentive, because im going to show you how the compound sodium chloride is formed from its elements, sodium and chlorine."

"did you enjoy the video (on ionic bonding)? *people forced themselves to say yes.* ive got 4 more to show you!"

"am i going through too quickly? please slow me down if you think i'm too fast." yes, sure. you can just end the lecture like, now.

it finally ended when we left for the other lecture on the history, applications and mechanisms of LASER. Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. WAAAAAAAY COOLER. MANN.

the only sad thing was that when we entered the lecture venue we found 3 people and a lecturer. no kidding.

Beanbag: Dota IP Allstars BETA v1.01

2007-02-11T17:14:00.000+08:00

Added hero portrait for gladys:

"aww... kawaii nehzZzzXzX!!"

check back soon for more updates, courtesy of boredlela.

[on a side note, we've removed our tagboard in favour of having comments under the "comments" section below each new post. please feel free to leave your comments there.]

ambivert and Beanbag: Dota IP Allstars BETA

2007-02-03T23:22:00.000+08:00

History:

A forgotten land, a forgotten time. A battle of epic proportions is coming to a violent end. It has finally come to the Final Battle between the Good and the Evil. A bloody clash is imminent as the Siantinels and the Sk0urg3 prepare for the final showdown. Now, their destinies lie in your hands. Which side will earn the final glory? Choose your heroes and lead your brethren to victory, in the legendary battle known as the Defense of the Ancients: IP Allstars.

Objectives:

Choose your heroes from either side, and bring down the opponent's defenses to destroy their critical structure

Heroes:

Han Dong the Aikido Master (STR Hero)
Spells

Throw - Grabs a nearby unit and throws him effortlessly to a target location, dealing damage to neighbouring units, and instantly killing the thrown unit on impact due to the Aikido Master's immense strength. (damage cap of 275 agaisnt heroes.)
level 1 - 2000 distance, 125 damage to adjacent units
level 2 - 3000 distance, 175 damage to adjacent units
level 3 - 4000 distance, 225 damage to adjacent units
level 4 - 5000 distance, 275 damage to adjacent units

Counterthrow (Passive) - after constant training, the Aikido Master develops the ability to counter blows made to him, throwing aggressors backwards, dealing damaging all units caught in its path.
level 1 - 15% chance, 500 distance, 125 damage to adjacent units
level 2 - 30% chance, 500 distance, 175 damage to adjacent units
level 3 - 45% chance, 500 distance, 225 damage to adjacent units
level 4 - 60% chance, 500 distance, 175 damage to adjacent units

Focus - Han Dong gets hyped up for tackling foes! Increases health and attack speed.
level 1 - +500hp, +15% attack speed, lasts 20s
level 2 - +600hp, +20% attack speed, lasts 20s
level 3 - +700hp, +25% attack speed, lasts 20s
level 4 - +800hp, +30% attack speed, lasts 20s

Omnithrow (Ulitmate) - with devastating speed, precision and accuracy, the Aikido Master takes on several foes at once, devastating them with a combination of throws. Strikes 5/8/11 times.
level 1 - 5 throws, 150 damage each
level 2 - 8 throws, 150 damage each
level 3 - 11 throws, 150 damage each

Regina the Mugderess (INT Hero)
Spells

Scream - Hours of intensive mugging have left the mind of the mugderess jumpy and unstable. At the slightest provocation, the Mugderess lets out a deafening scream to stun all units around her.
level 1 - stuns for 1.5s, 700 radius
level 2 - stuns for 2.0s, 700 radius
level 3 - stuns for 2.5s, 700 radius
level 4 - stuns for 3.0s, 700 radius

Mug - The basic of all mugger skills, mugging. The Mugderess completes an A-level TYS on the spot, regenerating mana as she completes questions.
level 1 - regenerates 100 mana over 10s
level 2 - regenerates 200 mana over 10s
level 3 - regenerates 300 mana over 10s
level 4 - regenerates 400 mana over 10s

OhMyTian! - A variation of the technique known as Scream. Regina exclaims "ohmytian!" summoning her friends to her rescue. Instantly teleports all allies to the Mugderess's location.
level 1 - infinite range, 60s cooldown
level 2 - infinite range, 50s cooldown
level 3 - infinite range, 40s cooldown
level 4 - infinite range, 30s cooldown

Regurgitate Information (Ultimate) - After hours spent on mugging, the Mugderess gains an incredible amount of information, stored in the form of mana. She releases them in a strong burst, instantly regurgitating tons of information onto a target enemy. Converts mana into damage.
level 1 - consumes 40% of max mana, damage cap of 600
level 2 - consumes 45% of max mana, damage cap of 800
level 3 - consumes 50% of max mana, damage cap of 1000

Jason the Hong Kong Ren (INT Hero)
Spells

Not Funny Ah! (Passive) - You cannot outtalk him. Automatically blocks a negative spell cast on the hero.
level 1 - 40s cooldown
level 2 - 30s cooldown
level 3 - 20s cooldown
level 4 - 10s cooldown

Talk Rubbish - Talks a whole string of rubbish, rendering Jason immovable and forcing enemy units to attack him (because they are so irritated). Affected enemy heroes' movement and attack speeds are also slowed when under the effect of Talk Rubbish. Channeling.
level 1 - 600 radius, up to 15% slow, 5s channeling, slow lasts for 1s after channeling ends
level 2 - 600 radius, up to 25% slow, 5s channeling, slow lasts for 2s after channeling ends
level 3 - 600 radius, up to 35% slow, 5s channeling, slow lasts for 3s after channeling ends
level 4 - 600 radius, up to 45% slow, 5s channeling, slow lasts for 4s after channeling ends

Spam (Passive) - As if all that crap isnt enough, spamming gives a chance to enhance the effects of Jason's spells. Talk Rubbish: Jason will talk more rubbish, doubling the amount of slow. Pissgirl: pure spammage pisses people a alot more, thus doubling damage.
level 1 - 20% chance
level 2 - 30% chance
level 3 - 40% chance
level 4 - 50% chance

Pissgirl (Ultimate) - The ultimate move for countering females. Does significant amount of damage to males too. Channeling.
level 1 - 600 radius, 80 damage per second, 120 bonus damage to females, 10s channeling
level 2 - 600 radius, 110 damage per second, 170 bonus damage to females, 10s channeling
level 3 - 600 radius, 150 damage per second, 200 bonus damage to females, 10s channeling

Kenneth the Liverpool Fan (STR Hero)
Spells

Lob - Kenneth kicks a soccer ball high up into the air. The ball crashes down into the ground 1.5s later, damaging and stunning all units caught in the shockwave.
level 1 - 200 radius damage, 300 range, 200 damage, 2s stun
level 2 - 300 radius damage, 400 range, 300 damage, 2s stun
level 3 - 400 radius damage, 500 range, 400 damage, 2s stun
level 4 - 500 radius damage, 600 range, 500 damage, 2s stun

Footwork (Passive) - Passively increases movement speed.
level 1 - increases speed by 15
level 2 - increases speed by 30
level 3 - increases speed by 45
level 4 - increases speed by 60

Ram (Passive) - Kenneth rams the ball into some VERY sensitive areas, dealing extra damage and stunning. Deals additional stun against male heroes.
level 1 - 10% chance, 15 bonus damage, 1s stun, +1.5s stun vs male heroes
level 2 - 20% chance, 25 bonus damage, 1s stun, +1.5s stun vs male heroes
level 3 - 30% chance, 35 bonus damage, 1s stun, +1.5s stun vs male heroes
level 4 - 40% chance, 45 bonus damage, 1s stun, +1.5s stun vs male heroes

Free Kick (Ultimate) - Kenneth takes time to aim at his target, before delivering a strong kick to a soccer ball, sending it flying to the target.
level 1 - 475 damage, 3000 range
level 2 - 575 damage, 3000 range
level 3 - 675 damage, 3000 range

Jiayi the Photographer (AGI Hero)
Spells

Snapshot - Powering up his camera, Jiayi takes a picture of a target, releasing an intense flash upon the unit.
level 1 - 75 damage
level 2 - 150 damage
level 3 - 225 damage
level 4 - 300 damage

Stalk - The Photographer gains the ability to follow a target unit undetected. The Photographer turns invisible and runs up to a target enemy unit. The player loses control of Jiayi for the duration of the spell.
level 1 - 30% movement speed increase, lasts 10s
level 2 - 40% movement speed increase, lasts 10s
level 3 - 50% movement speed increase, lasts 10s
level 4 - 60% movement speed increase, lasts 10s

Zoom Lens (Passive) - Increases the range of Jiayi's normal attack and spells.
level 1 - 20% increased range
level 2 - 30% increased range
level 3 - 40% increased range
level 4 - 50% increased range

Multishot (Ultimate) - Jiayi sets his camera to multishot mode, and rapidly snaps pictures of units around him.
level 1 - 6 snapshots
level 2 - 9 snapshots
level 3 - 12 snapshots

Zhirong the Basketballer (STR Hero)
Spells

Catwalk - Causes Zhirong to move towards a target location at 50% of current movement speed and pose, forcing all nearby enemy units to attack him (for the duration of the spell). In addition, it increases the Zhirong's armour, and notifies all players of Zhirong' location on the minimap. The player loses control of Zhirong for the duration of the spell.
level 1 - pose for 2s, 900 radius effect, +10 armour
level 2 - pose for 3s, 900 radius effect, +15 armour
level 3 - pose for 4s, 900 radius effect, +20 armour
level 4 - pose for 5s, 900 radius effect, +25 armour

33-pointer - Zhirong is so darn pro at basketball, he can shoot and (sometimes - rarely) score from waaaaaaay behind the 3-pointer line. Launches a basketball to a targetted enemy unit, damaging and stunning it. Due to Zhirong's must-act-cool nature, the ball has a high chance to miss.
level 1 - 400 damage, 2s stun, 80% chance to miss
level 2 - 500 damage, 2s stun, 75% chance to miss
level 3 - 600 damage, 2s stun, 70% chance to miss
level 4 - 700 damage, 2s stun, 65% chance to miss

Hey-heh! (Passive) - Zhirong fails alot. But whenever he's successful at something, you better watch out. Gives Zhirong a chance to go "hey-heh!" and launch a second 33-pointer after a successful 33-pointer hit.
level 1 - 20% chance
level 2 - 30% chance
level 3 - 40% chance
level 4 - 50% chance

CanDeLa! (Ultimate) - After numerous failures at every single thing in life, Zhirong has developed the ability to turn seemingly impossible situations in his favour. Casting this spell makes Zhirong exclaim, "candela!" and makes the next 33-pointer have a much higher chance to hit, and bonus damage.
level 1 - 80% chance to hit, 300 bonus damage
level 2 - 90% chance to hit, 300 bonus damage
level 3 - 100% chance to hit, 300 bonus damage

Colin the xXemoXx (AGI Hero)
Spells

Emolation - Colin concentrates on his trapped emotions and forces them out, engulfing a target enemy in a magical fire. This fire, fueled by the emotions, burns so menacingly that the target, together with nearby enemies, get damaged, and his/her mana gets drained away as well. Colin cannot cast any other spells when emolation is activated, but he can move and attack.
level 1 - 10 damage/5 mana per second, Colin loses 5 mana per second
level 2 - 20 damage/10 mana per second, Colin loses 10 mana per second
level 3 - 30 damage/15 mana per second, Colin loses 15 mana per second
level 4 - 40 damage/20 mana per second, Colin loses 20 mana per second

Wrist-slashing Arrows (Auto-cast) - Enchanting his arrows with his deep dark emotions, Colin's arrows instinctively seek his target's wrists, slashing them and dealing additional damage. Adds damage to his normal attack, and causes target to bleed. Each wrist-slashing arrow costs 10 mana.
level 1 - +10 damage, 10 bleed damage per second for 5 seconds
level 2 - +20 damage, 10 bleed damage per second for 5 seconds
level 3 - +30 damage, 10 bleed damage per second for 5 seconds
level 4 - +40 damage, 10 bleed damage per second for 5 seconds

Presense of the xXemoXx - Under the dark presense of the xXemoXx, nearby heroes begin to feel down and depressed. Reduces the attack speed and movement speed of all units in an 700 AoE around Colin by 10/20/30/40%.
level 1 - 10% reduction, 700 radius
level 2 - 20% reduction, 700 radius
level 3 - 30% reduction, 700 radius
level 4 - 40% reduction, 700 radius

Inner d-EMO-n (Ultimate) - Rage and resentment build up within Colin to the point that they are impossible to be contained within Colin's physical body. A powerful Inner d-EMO-n which lasts until killed can then be summoned. Spell can only be activated when Colin's health drops below 70%.
level 1 - d-EMO-n has 800 hp, 70 damage, 20% bash, very fast attack/move speed, permanent emolation (does not consume mana)
level 2 - d-EMO-n has 1000 hp, 90 damage, 30% bash, very fast attack/move speed, permanent emolation (does not consume mana)
level 3 - d-EMO-n has 1200 hp, 110 damage, 40% bash, very fast attack/move speed, permanent emolation (does not consume mana)

Niaorong the Girlseeker (AGI Hero)
Spells

Girlrage - Drives a target unit (or himself) into a girlrage. Girlrage increases damage and attack speed, which automatically double when attacking a female. Girlrage is physically taxing, however, and saps the targets physical energies, draining the target's hp and making it unable to cast any spells for the duration of Girlrage.
level 1 - +15% damage, +8% attack speed, drains 4hp per second, lasts 5s
level 2 - +30% damage, +16% attack speed, drains 8hp per second, lasts 7s
level 3 - +45% damage, +24% attack speed, drains 12hp per second, lasts 9s
level 4 - +60% damage, +32% attack speed, drains 16hp per second, lasts 11s

Niao form - Turns Niaorong into a tweety bird lookalike, giving him the "aww.. so cute" aura, which decreases girls' movment speed and damage. However, males find this skill disgusting, and thus it increases their damage and attack speed when targetting Niaorong.
level 1 - 10% reduction, +5% damage/attack speed to males, lasts 30s
level 2 - 20% reduction, +10% damage/attack speed to males, lasts 40s
level 3 - 30% reduction, +15% damage/attack speed to males, lasts 50s
level 4 - 40% reduction, +20% damage/attack speed to males, lasts 60s

Niaorong's lust (Passive) - Enables niaorong to sense nearby girls. If he finds one, niaorong gains vision of the girl, gets a movement speed increase, and an increased health regeneration after being hit by any girl. In addition, he gains bonus movement speed for every other girl he detects.
level 1 - small area, +10% normal/2% bonus movement speed, +3hp per second for 5s
level 2 - moderate area, +20% normal/4% bonus movement speed, +6hp per second for 5s
level 3 - large area, +30% normal/6% bonus movement speed, +9hp per second for 5s
level 4 - huge area, +40% normal/8% bonus movement speed, +12hp per second for 5s

Impress (Ultimate) - For a short time, the targetted female hero believes that Niaorog is the best boyfriend candidate ever. The target loses control of her hero, and the hero is forced to follow Niaorong around (like a pokemon).
level 1 - lasts 5s
level 2 - lasts 8s
level 3 - lasts 11s

Benchua the AntiMugger (AGI Hero)
Spells

Antimug (Passive) - The antimugger's signature move. Each attack does damage based on target's intelligence.
level 1 - + target's intelligence x1.0 in damage
level 2 - + target's intelligence x1.5 in damage
level 3 - + target's intelligence x2.0 in damage
level 4 - + target's intelligence x2.5 in damage

Hump - Ben humps a target. This spell has 0 cooldown, and thus is spammable.
level 1 - 50 damage, 0.2s stun
level 2 - 75 damage, 0.2s stun
level 3 - 100 damage, 0.2s stun
level 4 - 125 damage, 0.2s stun

Slack (Passive) - After years of intensive training, Ben has developed the ability to get work done using as little of his energy as possible. When Ben casts a spell, a portion of the spell's mana cost is shared among nearby allies.
level 1 - 20% mana shared, 1000 radius
level 2 - 40% mana shared, 1000 radius
level 3 - 60% mana shared, 1000 radius
level 4 - 80% mana shared, 1000 radius

Pseudo-Pseudo-Seuperman (Ultimate) - Ben turns into Pseudo-Pseudo-Seuperman, giving him increased hp, increased armour, increased damage, increased movement speed, spell resistance, and the ability to fly.
level 1 - +500hp, +10 armour, +50% damage, +30% movement speed, 50% spell resistance, lasts 30s
level 2 - +750hp, +20 armour, +75% damage, +40% movement speed, 75% spell resistance, lasts 30s
level 3 - +1000hp, +30 armour, +100% damage, +50% movement speed, spell immunity, lasts 30s

Gladys the Goddess of Wrath (AGI Hero)
Spells

Threaten - Gladys lets out a coercive warning, threatening all nearby enemies, lowering their armour and attack damage.
level 1 - 450 radius, -2 armour, -5% damage, lasts 8s
level 2 - 450 radius, -3 armour, -10% damage, lasts 8s
level 3 - 450 radius, -4 armour, -15% damage, lasts 8s
level 4 - 450 radius, -5 armour, -20% damage, lasts 8s

Rampage - (Usable only in PMS form) Gladys goes on a rampage, getting an insane boost to attack and movement speeds. When in a Rampage, however, no active spells can be cast, including the active abilities of items.
level 1 - +30% attack speed, +9% movement speed, lasts 10s
level 2 - +50% attack speed, +18% movement speed, lasts 10s
level 3 - +70% attack speed, +27% movement speed, lasts 10s
level 4 - +90% attack speed, +36% movement speed, lasts 10s

Volatility (Passive) - Being temperamental, Gladys is highly volatile in nature. On some attacks, Gladys tends to deal much more damage than normal. Gives a 36% chance to do 2.2/3.0/3.8/4.6x normal damage on each attack.
level 1 - +36% chance, 2.2x damage
level 2 - +36% chance, 3.0x damage
level 3 - +36% chance, 3.8x damage
level 4 - +36% chance, 4.6x damage

PMS (Ultimate) - PMS gives Gladys the ability to transform into a powerful monster, easily making her one of the most brutal characters in the game. In the PMS form, Gladys gets improved hp and damage, spell immunity, and lifesteal.
level 1 - +300hp, +60 damage, spell immunity, +10% lifesteal, lasts 30s
level 2 - +500hp, +75 damage, spell immunity, +20% lifesteal, lasts 30s
level 3 - +700hp, +90 damage, spell immunity, +30% lifesteal, lasts 30s

Huizhenutaretha the 01 Girls of GG (INT Hero)
Spells

Whatever Lor! - The girls exclaim "WHATEVER LOR!", making nearby heroes unable to cast spells or attack the girls for a period of time.
level 1 - Lasts 5 seconds.
level 2 - Lasts 10 seconds.
level 3 - Lasts 15 seconds.
level 4 - Lasts 20 seconds.

Fashion Disaster (Passive) - Huizhenutaretha's clothes and accessories are so dazzling that they emit a damaging radiance. Nearby units are damaged passively.
level 1 - 2% max hp lost per second
level 2 - 3% max hp lost per second
level 3 - 4% max hp lost per second
level 4 - 5% max hp lost per second

Inseparable Bonds (Passive) - The spirits of the three girls are linked together, so that damage is shared. When any of the girls is attacked, she takes 40% damage, while the remaining 60% is inflicted on the 2 other girls. In the process of damage transfer, some of the original potency of the attack is negated, hence the 2 other girls only recieve a fraction of the original damage. This ability only works when the 3 girls are separated.
level 1 - 40% of damage received by each of the other girls
level 2 - 30% of damage received by each of the other girls
level 3 - 20% of damage received by each of the other girls
level 4 - 10% of damage received by each of the other girls

Divide (Ultimate) - Huizhenutaretha splits into 3 individual units for a limited period of time. Each of the girls has 1/3 of each stat in the combined form, but has the same attack and movement speeds. Spells and abilities are retained, and the burning effect of Fashion Disaster STACKS. If any of the 3 girls survives until the countdown, Huizhenutaretha will be reborn with full health.
level 1 - 240 sec cooldown
level 2 - 180 sec cooldown
level 3 - 120 sec cooldown

Shihui the Queen of Terror (INT Hero)
Spells

Terrorizing Retardification - Shihui focuses on a target enemy hero and contorts her face into a terrifying expression. The target hero then loses sight of everything else except Shihui for a certain period of time, becomes unable to see any nearby heroes or units, and hence is unable to attack. 300 casting range. Channelling.
level 1 - Lasts for 3 seconds.
level 2 - Lasts for 4 seconds.
level 3 - Lasts for 5 seconds.
level 4 - Lasts for 6 seconds.

Wink - Winks at a target unit, and instantly teleporting to it. Has a maximum casting range of 1200.
level 1 - Cooldown: 8 secs
level 2 - Cooldown: 6 secs
level 3 - Cooldown: 4 secs
level 4 - Cooldown: 2 secs

Cacophonic Laughter - Shihui laughs and induces terror into all units in an 800 radius, dealing damage and slowing their movement and attack speeds for a period of time.
level 1 - 200 damage, 25% slow, lasts 2 seconds
level 2 - 250 damage, 35% slow, lasts 4 seconds
level 3 - 300 damage, 45% slow, lasts 6 seconds
level 4 - 350 damage, 55% slow, lasts 8 seconds

Stone Form (Ultimate) - Shihui stones, making hear near-impervious to all attacks while she regenerates health and mana at a shocking pace.
level 1 - +20hp per second, +30% mana regeneration, +50 armour, magic immunity, 30s cooldown between shifting forms
level 2 - +40hp per second, +40% mana regeneration, +50 armour, magic immunity, 20s cooldown between shifting forms
level 3 - +60hp per second, +50% mana regeneration, +50 armour, magic immunity, 10s cooldown between shifting forms

Abel the Char (STR Hero)
Spells

Lead pellets (Auto-cast) - Lead is poisonous. Induces a poisoning effect to Abel's shots. Each attack slows the enemy's movement speed and deals damage for 8 seconds. Each pellet costs 15 mana.
level 1 - slows by 15% and deals 10 damage per second
level 2 - slows by 20% and deals 15 damage per second
level 3 - slows by 25% and deals 20 damage per second
level 4 - slows by 30% and deals 25 damage per second

Bash - Abel bashes the target with the butt of his pistol, dealing damage and stunning for a short duration. Target needs to be within melee range to use this skill.
level 1 - 100 damage, 3 seconds stun
level 2 - 200 damage, 4 seconds stun
level 3 - 300 damage, 5 seconds stun
level 4 - 400 damage, 6 seconds stun

10.9 (passive) - Abel's so accurate, his shots HURT. Increases the Abel's damage and allows him to 1-hit-KO creeps.
level 1 - Increases damage by 10%, 10% chance to 1-hit-KO
level 2 - Increases damage by 20%, 15% chance to 1-hit-KO
level 3 - Increases damage by 30%, 20% chance to 1-hit-KO
level 4 - Increases damage by 40%, 25% chance to 1-hit-KO

Bankai (Ultimate) - Abel 'bankai's, instantly regenerating all health and mana, resetting all other cooldowns and permanently gaining stats, with a bonus to his primary attribute, strength. 3min cooldown.
level 1 - +1 to all stats, +1 to primary attribute
level 2 - +2 to all stats, +2 to primary attribute
level 3 - +3 to all stats, +3 to primary attribute

N.B. DotA IP Allstars is still in its BETA stage. Some hero portraits are not yet up, and certain heroes have a huge advantage over others (i.e. some heroes are really IMBA)

ambivert: random post

2007-02-01T18:44:00.000+08:00

okay guys. we're not really dead yet. just that mugging is draining our souls away. im missing out so much on blogging these days. some random stuff:

Sometimes the sciences are really hilariously stupid.

here's some stuff that ive gathered over the past weeks being a science student.

first, there's physics. physics teachers are the most meticulous people ever. they seem to have this insatiable urge to pick out every single detail about written work. for example, there are the significant figures (s.f.'s) as a physics student, you HAVE to leave your numerical answers in the correct sf to get the marks. additionally, you also have to JUSTIFY the number of sf's you give.

so when the KI teacher is asking her students, "so how do you justify the killing of these hundreds of animals for research purposes?"

... mr tan is asking us, "so how do you justify 3 sf? why not 2 sf? or 2 dp?"

(and what's the point making a fuss over the number of significant figures!!?)

then there's andre su and his debate with the chem teacher ms geraldine ng on the high precision of the electronic balance.

(background info: the electronic balance in the chemistry lab weighs up to ten-thousandths of a gram. that's 0.1 mg.)

andre su went: "so if its so accurate there will also be problems right? like it can weigh the dust particles in the air."

ms ng: "so how would it make a difference?"

andre: "like for example the dust will make the sample weigh 0.001 grams more."

*everyone looks at andre and laughs*

i bet if any arts student joined a science class for a day, he/she would just laugh at the hopelessness of jc science. sighs.

My Love

starting on tuesday, ernest, kaisheng and i embarked on a campaign to learn how to sing and dance to justin timberlake's my love. damn hilarious song la! especially when justin timberlake sings with his falsetto.

watch it here. http://youtube.com/watch?v=fpfpON3IoeQ

SEXY BACK's so out. its time for MY LOVE!

"If i wrote you a symphony, just to say how much you mean to me, what would you do?"

PS. sorry for the lack of pictures. unlike shihui, i dont have a sony ericsson cybershot phone.
PSS. need to do my tutorials =/

Polaris: MSN

2007-01-23T21:46:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I'm here to promote my MSN. Mugging Society of Njc.

Visit http://muggingsociety-njc.blogspot.com/ for more details.

You can contact me anytime if you want to join, I'm in the process of creating application forms.

This is serious business, nationals are coming up.

ambivert: a sunday afternoon

2007-01-21T14:06:00.000+08:00

j1 life is so sickening. lectures lectures tutorials tutorials homework homework tests tests exams exams. basically that sums up everything we do. and what's the point of doing all these? so that we get a good foundation for our future careers and stuff. not being too pessimistic, but i still have to say, Le Sux (ernest's awesome tagline).

anyway, here's something that has been bothering me whenever i have nothing important to think about. its pretty pointless-philosophy, but nonetheless it keeps you sound as an intelligent human. its about the present.

we always think that we're living in the present, but the moment of present is so infinitely short-lived and non-existent that it seems that its not the present anytime. what does that mean? for example, you are now reading THIS WORD. but a fleeting instant later you realise that the "present moment" you spent reading "THIS WORD" is gone. it just went into the past.

we've all been experiencing this transition infinitely since birth. looking at the big picture, you realise that life is just something of your memory, and the present moment is just an illusion. and then there comes unanswerable questions, like "if the present moment is infitely short and non-existent, why are we here at 16/17 years of age instead of 70 years of age?" and "are we real at all, because when the "me" of the last moment disappeared into the past, he ceased to exist and got replaced by "me" of this present moment. and soon the "present me" will cease to exist too."

these questions make no sense, because they arent questions at all. for questions to exist, there must be a way to answer them. but the only answer that you can find is "its just liddat lah."

i dont understand what im bothered about too. so at the end of the day i get bothered about something that... is not anything at all.

[end of nonsensical part]

here's an interesting (but hideously unfortunate) article brought to my attention by my mom.

***

http://news.yahoo.com/s/cpress/20070120/
ca_pr_on_od/oddity_cellphone_lightning

Malaysian student killed by lightning while using cellphone
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) - A Malaysian student was killed by lightning as she answered her cellphone in Malaysia's Borneo island state Sarawak, a news report said Saturday.

Chai Ming Hui, 23, was taking refuge under an umbrella with two others when her phone rang during a thunderstorm Thursday, the New Straits Times newspaper reported. She answered it and was struck by lightning, causing severe burns, the paper added.

She died minutes later after being taken to the main hospital in Kuching, Sarawak's state capital, the report said.

Her friends were only slightly hurt, it said.

Officials at the Sarawak Hospital were not immediately available for comment.

***

... and i thought i was suay enough. she was sharing the umbrella with TWO friends, and the lightning hit her so accurately that both of them were only slightly injured. can you get any more suay than that? she died just because she used a handphone.

monsoon season these few days. so people, never answer your phones when its raining. dont even sms. you might just be the next suay person.

PS: dota players might think of it as thundergod's wrath. get linken le la.

orientation boredlela: abu grahib torture caught on camera

2007-01-13T09:06:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: THE FOLLOWING IMAGES AND TEXT CONTAIN REVOLTING CONTENT WHICH YOU MIGHT NOT WANNA SEE OR READ. VIEWER DISCRETION STRONGLY ADVISED. ALSO, BOREDLELA, BEING A RANDOM ORGINISATION OCCASIONALLY COMING UP WITH SARDONIC POSTS, SHOULD NOT BE BLAMED IF YOU FEEL THAT THIS POST OFFENDS YOU GREATLY (either if youre the councillor who came up with the gruesome torture, or youre simply a retard,) BECAUSE DOING SO IS JUST PURE POINTLESS.

first of all, this post aims to expose a gruesome torture method used in ~~njc orientation~~ the abu grahib prison. this is how the torture works. a prisoner is dragged out of his cell and blindfolded with a piece of plastic. the warden torturer then spreads ~~blue hair gel mixed with another green hair gel~~ semen on his face. next, numerous other prisoners are called upon, and they are forced take turns to use a straw to suck up ~~peanuts~~ shitballs and shoot them at the blindfolded prisoner's face. usually, to create more excitement, 2 such groups are arranged, and the group which has the most shitballs stuck on the blindfolded prisoner's face wins. the losing group ~~will be sent to the next game station~~ will all be hanged. (of course they'll all be taunted before that.)

the prisoner. observe his horrified expression after learning that he's been blindfolded and some... undesirable stuff has been applied onto his face. oh, and those are the torturer's fingers.

prisoner 2. forced to shoot shitballs at prisoner 1's face. the torturer is thrilled.

prisoners line up to shoot shitballs. one of them is actually excited! probably because she loves spitting shit (maybe in some other way too.)

the... stuff.

the shitballs.

~~mrs virginia cheng~~ president george bush please take special note.

and let's all observe a minute of silence for those involved in this gruesome torture.

ambivert: EMO ISN'T COOL.

2007-01-12T23:10:00.000+08:00

dance party. everyone was having fun. what was i doing? pretending to be emo. for what? for no reason whatsoever. cool? no. i just got myself into unnecessary unhappiness.

for the whole evening i was being rather drained of spirits because of the weather. and when i walked into the club-like hall i saw colin, folding his arms, staring at me with those cold expressionless eyes. when everyone else was dancing excitedly.

thought that was kinda like awesome, because it really looked hilariously ironic. so i tried to be emo. i pretended to be emo at first (as in seriously PRETENDING.)

but that was PRETENSE OF THE GG.

because after that i couldnt shake the emo off. so i became real EMO. it CORRUPTED THE SOUL. and i didnt even know what i was doing. rationality switched off. its like getting high. just that you lose control... in a sad way.

damn sad la!

EMO FOR NOTHING!

ha/jay/tse mei/etc, if youre reading this, please know that i wasnt even justified to be emo! i was just being stupid. real dumb.

note to self: EMO ISN'T COOL.

such an assclown.

=/

ambivert: "我是SUAY的LOR."

2007-01-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

first day of school. was. great.

(no further comment)

second day of school. was. equally. great. completely awesome when i found out how tough jc1 will be.

third day of school. TRAGEDY STRUCK.

the first 2/3 or so of the day was uneventful. boring lectures (Beanbag called them "fillers") by sharon phua and counsellors from... wherever they come from. this was followed by a period of monotony in the range (not interesting, no point recounting,) and finally the CCA carnival.

(boring boring boring.)

after school ended Beanbag and i headed for waffle town to join some cool people (shihui, meltee, gha, terence, gimlim) for dinner. had some great fun, and i witnessed how Beanbag became HIGH for the first time (he started spamming abnormally lame comments and laughed his head off.)

when we finished and started heading back home, we (except gha) took a crowded 170.

... and i never saw what came next.

okay, here's what happened. shihui, followed by gimlim, went on the bus, and because it was crowded, they took their postions at the middle of the cabin. i was next, and i took a position right next to gimlim. (terence, meltee and kaisheng were behind)

just when i was settling, i felt a force from behind. i turned around in confusion, and i saw AN OLD INDIAN WITH WHITE HAIR pushing at me furiously.

"move in lah, yes, move back," he said to me.

BUT THERE WAS NO MORE SPACE ALREADY! THE CABIN WAS FULL!

but he still pushed at me anyway. AND that's when i realised that he was DERANGED.

S-H-I-T.

the next moments were climatic. he started running his hand up to my chest, and started touching my NJ LOGO on my TEAM NJ SHIRT. you know which part of the body that is on.

"oh, i know where this is (pointing to the nj logo)... it's in bukit timah..."

I FREAKED OUT.

HE WAS FREAKING MOLESTING ME.

terrified, i started saying rubbish. "yeah, and i'm from air rifle. you know, air rifle. im from shooting." ANYTHING TO MAKE HIM STOP!

meanwhile i forced my way to behind gimlim and shihui. it took some time to squeeze through, and i hit some guy on the seat in the process. but i couldnt be bothered. the situation was pretty DESPARATE.

...and all the time, he was touching random parts of my upper body.

OMG CAN YOU LIKE STOP TOUCHING ME???

OMG WHY IS HE EVEN TOUCHING ME???

OMG CAN YOU LIKE TOUCH SOMEONE ELSE (like terence, who's so damn hot)?!!

when i finally squeezed my way behind, i was pretty relieved.

BUT TRAUMATISED.

that's when i blurted out something that described the situation perfectly.

"我是SUAY的LOR. 跟你讲, 我真的是SUAY的LOR."

the tragedy pretty much ended, but for the next 10-15 minutes or so, i was so bloody traumatised that i kinda lost control of myself. AFTERSHOCK. shihui, terence and gimlim were still with me, and they were apparently thrilled by what just happened. in retrospect, its kinda funny though.

it was just so unexpected. great time hanging out with friends, what could go wrong? its like,

waffles,

talking,

laughing,

getting high,

and then, with sheer randomness...

...getting groped by a deranged indian. WHAT??!

I SWEAR: I'M GONNA MAIM THE NEXT DERANGED INDIAN WHO TOUCHES ME.

Polaris: Orientation

2007-01-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

Whee.

So here's how my orientation went, or what I recall about it...

I spent principal's talk trying to convince everyone to play the animal game. Ooh you people should learn how to play it. I killed my phone battery playing the racing game on bluetooth with Weiliang

Break was... I can't really remember.

PE talk I don't know what happened

KM talk... Er.... I was doing the bear sign for animal game, trying to teach people how to play... Then GG, the speaker (Can't remember his name) thought I raised my hand. So I just asked on the spot "will this be on KM?"

That didn't go so bad I guess...

Oh yes, Mrs Cheng 'blessed me'.

Yes, the two sneezes were mine.

Happy orientation, people.

I'm still in a stalemate, if I get inspired, I'll post something up one of these days.

Sorry people!

Beanbag: Bush & Blair - Endless Love

2007-01-02T18:43:00.000+08:00

It's quite old, but if you haven't already seen it,

Rain Rain Go Away, Come Again Another Day~

2006-12-30T12:20:00.000+08:00

RAIN. the korean singing sensation? the HOTTEST guy ever? every girl's dream man? more than all these?

...

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??!

if you are willing to listen to reason, let's examine this RAIN guy rationally.

1. Ownage Bad Music

first, what is his occupation? answer, he's a kpop singer. his music range from r&b to soul to rap. but seriously, have you heard that music? any sensible critic would tell you its awfully mediocre. plus, his vocals are not spectacular at all. go check out any of the youtube videos, and you realise that he sings only the easy parts, while leaving the high-pitched and more skilful sounds to some backup vocalists. and yet, he is one of the most successful kpop stars. how did this got approved?

2. Ownage Dancing Skills

so it seems that he has to rely on something other than his awful music to stay in the limelight. it has to be his ownage dancing skills. well, i dont doubt that his dance moves are good. but being a kpop singer, DANCING is his prime focus. that's the first irony, unless you tell me he's a kpop dancer. but if that's the case, he shouldnt be in the music industry in the first place, giving people sleepless nights with horrid, brain-damaging music. he should instead go for so you think you can dance and become some pro dancer.

3. Ownage Concert Ticket Prices

another irony is that even though his concert tickets are ridiculously priced, the most expensive tickets get sold out. and what do the fans enter his concert for? to watch a skinny guy squirming like an earthworm on stage while stripping half-naked. totally makes you high right?

(OMG YOU LIDDAT OSO HIGH?!)

and we havent mentioned how much you have to pay just to get in the concert. the cheapest ticket costs $188, and the most expensive one costs $488. SO WHY ARE YOU (or some other clueless people) STUFFING TONS OF YOUR (or their) PARENTS' HARD EARNED MONEY INTO THE POCKETS OF SOME HALF-NAKED SQUIRIMING WORM?

4. The (Ownage) Perfect Solution

since his music is so pathetic, we suggest that he should actually do a dance performance instead. at the esplanade. it would be much cooler. but we all know he'll still probably charge insane prices for that. so, the perfect solution: since he loves to make music and dance as well, we suggest that he joins hi-5. he could even sing along to that "rain rain go away, come again another day" song. at least he could give afforable entertainment for kids world-wide. instead of conning illusioned teenagers into giving him easy cash.

so rain, please go away. come again another time as a part of hi-5. we would appreciate you much better.

look forward to that day:

"HI, I'm Nathan! HI, I'm Charlie. HI, I'm Kathleen! HI, I'm Kellie! HI, sarang sarang sarang iosadnaio oaidnajsi iehrinfd RAIN!!!! wa ta shi wa HOTTTTTO! AND TOGETHER, WE'RE HI-5. *KIDS CHEER*"

Beanbag: Math Holiday Homework Update

2006-12-22T10:30:00.000+08:00

So you think you've finished math homework?
Look again, man.

(click the image and zoom in for better view)

So, Jason, i think you should stop asking for more posts and go do your math homework before OGL camp starts.

ambivert: perplexed

2006-12-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

went out today. with Beanbag, kye and Tom's Fren (xuanrui, an cat high ex-classmate and a HOT guy). it really beat the hell out of staying at home stoning in front of the computer/tv/book/ceiling. so, first of all, i just wanna say i really enjoyed your company today. to be hanging out together with 3 really different (yet still uber awesome) friends for a day - it couldn't get better.

we watched deja vu, a science-fiction thriller. (yes, kye, i know you dont like that very well; you were dying to watch happy feet. sorry about that, then. it was oh-ah-bey-ah-som. ho ho ho. =P)

BUT watching that movie, it turned out, was a mistake for me. not that i didnt like it. its that i appreciated it so much im starting to question everything inside the movie. and that's leaving me perplexed and dying to get answers (which no one knows for sure.)

disclaimer: the following part is strictly not for anyone not interested in physics. for those who thought physics in ip2 sucked, i recommend that you click on the X at the top right hand corner of your screen, or alternatively click on those links on the right to visit some other awesome blogs.

alright, here's the deal. ive finished reading Timeline by Michael Crichton in the past week or so, and that book talked about time travel. some intriguing ideas were presented in the book. (hey, by the way, the book is not bullshit science fiction. it is based on the ideas proposed by actual physicists. Crichton isnt any cheap science fantasy writer, you know.)

first, it is the proposal that time does not move; we move. time is a fixed element that doesnt flow. but to us, time appears to pass because of how we perceive the world through our five senses. hard to visualise, isnt it? coz time no longer takes the conventional form of an arrow.

second is the theory that there are infinite parallel universes, one for each varying course of events that happen: there is a universe in which you are a murderer, a universe in which you are not born, a universe in which you dont blink your eyes at the moment you do in this universe, and the list goes on infinitely. and these universe not only follow your our time. there is one universe for every existing moment in time (infinite too).

so to time travel, we dont reverse time. we cant do that. instead, we travel into these parallel universes of the past.

third, how to do this? well, it is found that space-time on a quantum level (meaning subatomic levels) is disorientated and messy, in the form of a foam, due to the effects of the Big Bang. hence its given the name quantum foam. being foamlike, it is therefore easy to create wormholes that bridge a connection between our universe and other parallel universes. now, recall that there's a universe for every moment of time. if a human can travel through this wormhole into that specific parallel universe, he would in fact be able to time-travel, or at least experience the past.

but how to squeeze a live human being into a subatomic space? for an answer, please read the book. Timeline by Michael Crichton.

now let me get to what happens in deja vu. in the movie, denzel washington was able to travel back in time and prevent a terrorist bombing that killed hundreds from happening. but this kind of time travel is paradoxial (is there a word like this? lol.) coz there's the grandfather's paradox: if i go back in time to kill my grandfather, i would not exist, and so there can be no way for me to kill my grandfather. so he would live if he dies.

but in the movie, changed past events directly result in a changed future. not sound at all, you realise.

SO NOW ITS TIME FOR AMBIVERT'S ULTIMATE PROBLEM SOLVING THEORY!

k, so, based on what i assume is true (there are infinite parallel universes,) this is the theory i've worked out (i think its been thought up by scientists already, so it may not be original.)

there are infinite parallel universes, one for each course of events that happen. these parallel universes are completely independent, and do not affect each other. when denzel washington "time travelled", he was actually transferred into that alternate universe. and when he thought he changed history and prevented the deaths of hundreds, ho ho! he didnt. instead, the course of events of that particular parallel universe IS that the people are saved because of an intervention from someone from another universe (denzel washington). in other words, denzel washington didnt change anything. he simply went WITH the flow of how events took place. while back in the universe he was from, the people still died.

this clears up paradoxes. since the universes are independent, the grandfather paradox is not a problem. i go "back in time" to kill my grandfather, and in that "back in time" universe i was not born. but i was still born in the universe i came from.

so, maybe, after all, we cant change history. not with time travel, not with anything. as one of the characters in the movie said, you cant change what God has planned for us. it is destiny.

...again, im starting to doubt my spirituality.

Beanbag: new-age self defence

2006-12-11T22:02:00.000+08:00

This is alot easier and a hecklot more effective than aikido.

Polaris, featuring Colin Ee: Mission KFC

2006-12-06T22:16:00.000+08:00

Right. So basically, this mission was a flop. Read on to find out why.

Basically, I went out with Colin and something in us decided that we'd want to eat the KFC Ultimate Chicken Meal. Big mistake

Here's the sign. How misleading.

Whoopie! So we both bought ourselves an Ultimate Chicken Meal, thinking we struck a gold mine.

Little did we know....

The popcorn chicken was so tiny. We finally realised our mistake. The fine print.

Junior size? You gotta be kidding. A starving kid in Africa would find bugs more filling than this. An unborn foetus wouldn't be full, don't even talk about a toddler.

Colin was desperate, with every little crumb so crucial.

What to do, serving size so little...

Just look at the entire meal.

Yep. Puny. The deal was too good to be true. WE GOT CHEATED.

And we were still hungry. Thankfully, there was NTUC just next door...

What are we eating, you ask?

Well... We didn't have much of a choice.

Yum.

Dare to disagree? Lets make a comparison. Which one looks more filling?

You get the idea.

Yup, the meal got owned by a pack of no-flavour, lightly-salted NTUC Fairprice potato chips.

Just a little side note;

Oh well.

At least lesson learnt: read the fine print.

Polaris: HUH?

2006-12-06T14:36:00.000+08:00

what?

er....

What exactly is this talking about? :/

Anyway, I realised I haven't posted anything for ages. Sorry guys!

I just got back from softball chalet last night, lol it was crazy...

I finally understand how DOTA works. Noob? Maybe, but heck it was fun. LOL.

Right now, I'm lacking my creativity and inspiration (yeah right). I haven't really thought of what to post yet, maybe one of these days I'll have something to say. Right now.... Panic! At the disco on my iTunes, enjoying sweet life.

Tata, for now!

Beanbag: finally i get a working connection, though not on my laptop

2006-12-04T15:19:00.000+08:00

O.o

Polaris's turn

xd: HoM for the win!

2006-12-04T13:29:00.000+08:00

just did this interesting quiz linked from shihui's blog. http://slarshie.diaryland.com/061201_14.html

great blog, by the way =D

seems i got a Hand of Midas. FARMING FTW!! (people who don't understand this are suckers.)*

*just kidding. hah-hah.

xd: LANshop Royale (Part II)

2006-11-27T19:07:00.000+08:00

LANshop Royale (Part II)

Scene 4

About an hour later, every player has gathered back at LAN gaming centre.

LANshop owner: Gentlemen, welcome back. Now if everyone is ready, we can begin the final match early.

Some random player: WAIT WAIT! I need to… I need to check maplesea forums for something first.

LANshop owner: Wah you play maplestory too? What’s your name? I got a level 87 sin in bootes leh. Let’s party some day.

Everyone else: …

5 minutes later

LANshop owner: Okay, gentlemen, this match will be –ar (allrandom) match. Since we are playing a gamble, we might as well leave our hero selection to chance. Now, please place your bets.

James Phua takes out everything in his wallet and places it on the table. $87.

LANshop owner: Interesting. Mr Phua has chosen to bet all that he has left. As a rule, we have to follow suit.

A lot of players grumble as they reluctantly placed their bets.

LANshop owner (whispering to James Phua): What a dangerous move, Mr Phua. Think you can beat me?

James Phua (in a whisper): We’ll see soon enough.

*Game starts*

25 minutes into the game:

James Phua: OMG I’m being poisoned!

Agency operator through ear com: What? You’re being poisoned?

James Phua: YEAH I’M GOING TO DIE!

Agency operator through ear com: Ok, Mr Phua, stay calm! Listen to my instructions.

James Phua: OKAY. Okay.

Agency operator through ear com: Now, how do you feel? Which part of you is being poisoned?

James Phua: HOW I KNOW? My heart is beating very fast sia.

Agency operator through ear com: Okay. We need to identify what kind of poison it is. Go take a chemical sensor and insert its needle into your vein.

James Phua: HUH? Dunneed la. I know what poison it is.

Agency operator through ear com: WHAT IS IT?

James Phua: Viper Strike poison lor. 100 damage per second for dunno how many seconds.

Agency operator through ear com: Viper poison? WOW. Using snakes! They are vicious. Now control your breathing, and for the antidote, just a second…

James Phua: No need le. I heal finish le. Lucky I made it to the fountain in time. haha.

Agency operator through ear com: CHEY! YOUR GAME CHARACTER GOT POISONED ONLY! WAHLAO.

James Phua: It’s called a hero la haha.

Agency operator through ear com: WHATEVER.

Meanwhile,

LANshop owner (cursing to himself in a voice inaudible to other players): DAMN. WHY ARE MY MAPHACKS NOT WORKING? THEY ALWAYS KNOW! If this goes on I’ll get less than 10 kills!

30 minutes later

The Scourge has won! Check www.getdota.com for updates.

James Phua: Gay shit, I PWN YOU! I’ve got 20 kills, and you only have 7. Now you GG.

LANshop owner is stunned.

James Phua leaves the scene with a whole bag of banknotes.

Scene 5

James Phua and some IP1 girl are in a hotel diner enjoying a meal together.

Some IP1 girl: You did great! How did you counter his cheating program?

James Phua: HAHAHA I pro wad.

Some IP1 girl: Right.

James Phua: K la I tell you why. I SCREENED HIM.

Some IP1 girl: Screen? But you were sitting right opposite him!

James Phua: Yeah la. See, I used my poser specs and put them at an angle on the desk so that I can see his monitor. That bastard was too intent on maphacking to notice it. So wherever he goes I used minimap signal to warn my allies. And as for killing, I was very lucky to have randomed Bloodseeker. It’s an ownage hero killer. And most of all, I’m PRO!

Some IP1 girl: Hur hur. I’m going home now. Good night.

IP1 girl leaves.

James Phua: I have a bad feeling about this. I think I’d better follow her.

James Phua runs outside the hotel just in time to see the girl being dragged away by some men onto a car.

James Phua: SHIT.

James Phua runs to his car, fumbles with his keys, and suddenly he gets hit heavily on the back of his neck, passing out instantly.

Scene 6

James Phua and the IP1 girl wake up to find themselves in a run-down house. Standing in front of them is none other than the LAN shop owner.

LANshop owner: Mr Phua, let me make it simple. Give me the money, or I’ll taupok you.

James Phua: I will NEVER give you the money, you cb.

LANshop owner: Fine. Men, bring this girl away, and then hold Mr Phua down so I can taupok him.

The IP1 girl gets dragged away. She screams desperately.

James Phua (to the IP1 girl): I’ll be fine! Don’t worry about me!

*Door slams as the girl gets brought into another room*

LANshop owner: So, Mr Phua, are you giving me the money?

James Phua: NO!

LANshop owner: Fine. TAUPOK!!! TAUPOKTAUPOKTAUPOK!!!!

James Phua: Noooooo! Arrrrhrrrhgghghghhhh…!

10 minutes later

LANshop owner (panting): Still not giving me the money?

James Phua: NEVER.

LANshop owner: Fine. Then I’ll hump you.

*with a devious grin, we walks closer to the tied-up James Phua*

Suddenly gunshots were heard from the IP1 girl’s room. Immediately, the door bursts open, and a guy appeared. He shoots at the LANshop owner, who dies immediately from a headshot.

James Phua: Who’s that?

Assassin: Eh wassup its me yo! *he does a weird humping action*

James Phua: BENJAMIN CHUA! WAH. How did you make your way here?

Ben Chua: I followed the scent.

James Phua: What scent?

Ben Chua: Your girl’s scent! I’m able to detect every single female creature within a 10-mile radius, didn’t you know? Your girl’s scent was particularly… enticing. *humps more and makes some weird noise* hahahaha

James Phua: OH MY GAWD… BEN CHUA! Stop being horny!

Ben Chua: HAHHAA! C’mon, let’s go. I’ve got to go Orchard to spot some more hot girls mann!

James Phua: hahaahaha okay la on!

IP1 girl: Eh what about me? Eh eh eh…

END =D

xd: LANshop Royale (Part I)

2006-11-26T01:49:00.000+08:00

(hooray for my awesome photoshop skills.)

James Phua: LANshop Royale (Part I)

Narrator: Every man has a story. Every story has a beginning. In LANshop Royale, Phua, the man who has become nothing less than a legend among the IP population, embarks on his first job as a one double three seven (1337) agent.

Scene 1:

Sengkang, Singapore.

Phua is on his customized computer, conversing with M, his superior, using MSN messenger.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
eh halo.. got any mission for me anot?

M says:
Hi Mr Phua. But first of all, know that promoting you to a One Double Three Seven agent doesn’t mean you can add me on msn and talk to me like this.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
ahahaha whatever la. so got mission for me?

M says:
Yes. There’s this guy who owns a lanshop, and he challenges his customers to 5v5 DotA often. They play a simple gamble. Players place their stakes, and winner takes all. However, our sources tell us that the owner of the lanshop has never lost a game since his lanshop opened. He had played at least 200 such gambles since then. The issue is that apparently he uses the money he wins to fund international terrorists.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
lol

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
wait wait. how can he win 5v5 dota by himself?

M says:
Well, the one who gets the most kills win.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
hahahaahah wah liddat also can ah? so my mission is to stop him issit?

M says:
Yes. Your task will be to challenge and beat him at his game, since youre the one who’s most proficient at the game here at the agency. You will be provided with $107 for the stakes. Additional $7 because GST has increased to 7% now.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
hahahahaha ok la on la!

M says:
By the way, get a laptop. The agency can’t afford to lose face because one of our 1337 agents owns only a desktop.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart says:
haha no nid la.. my desktop super gay de.. got 1 gig ram sia.. and only cost 1k! hey-heh! hey-heh!

Scene 2:

Somerset, Singapore

James Phua reaches the LAN gaming centre in cineleisure. Most players have reached the venue already, and the games are about to start.

LANshop owner: Ah, Mr Phua! My name is Shitte Gei. People call me Gay Shit here. HAHA! Come, have a seat.

James Phua: Pleasure. I guess I’m really fortunate to be able to play a game with someone as charming and well-respected as you. Now if you excuse me. (Phua walks to talk a seat in front of a computer)

5 minutes later

LANshop owner: Now let the games begin! Players, please place your bets.

Phua takes out $20 from his wallet and put it on the betting table.

LANshop owner: Ok, I’ll create the game now. It would be an –ap match. No leavers allowed.

5 minutes into the game

FIRST BLOOD!

James Phua: “OEI… KS.. asshole la you..”

10 minutes into the game

James Phua: “WAH SHIT! TYCO! I only 5 HP left and I escape! Hey-heh! Hey- *Our hero has been killed!* … WTF clinkz windwalk! OMG I died! noonnNOo…”

50 minutes into the game:

*The Sentinel has won the game! Check www.getdota.com for updates*

LANshop owner: Very obviously, I have won with 17 kills. Mr Phua is quite impressive too, but most unfortunately he has only got 14 kills. We will RM in an hour. Please hang around until then.

10 minutes after the match, James Phua and... some IP1 girl are at a quiet place, talking.

IP1 girl: You have lost.

James Phua: I know la! But you know why anot? He maphack. He sure maphack one. With "Darwin" Sniper he cant assassinate me without using a maphack. I was like so far away, and there was fog of war! Damn cb la.

IP1 girl: I don't care (as much as I don't understand what you're saying.) You know what's your problem? It's your ego. You always say “can de la!” but you end up saying “aiya… today not on form la… cmi.”or just give some shitty excuse like the one you just gave. Listen. You play again, you lose, and we're giving free money to terrorists who will bomb our MRTs with suspicious articles.

James Phua: No I won’t. I promise. I know how to counter his maphacks…

And so how exactly does James Phua counters his gruesomely powerful enemy who uses a cheating program? Stay tuned for Part II.

Youtube: PMS Survival Tips

2006-11-23T14:42:00.000+08:00

ROFL.

xd: holiday woes

2006-11-21T17:58:00.000+08:00

holidays. ~~omgwtfbbq damnnnnn~~ SIBEI sian.

so sian that i can eat a cow. damnnnnnzzzxxzxxzxz.

guess what, now i even find public transport rides interesting. observing how people behave in enclosed crowded areas with seats is more fun than you expect.

from constant observation, there are certain ~~rules~~ LAWS to take note of while boarding a public transport that are unannounced but acknowkedged island-wide. here they are.

1. if there is a 2-man seat that's occupied by one person and another seat that's totally unoccupied, always take that unoccupied seat. (applies only for S.B.S. (Si Bei Sian)* buses.)

Diagram:

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) the person occupying that seat might think that youve got some unknown business with him/her if you choose to take a seat beside him/her when there's a totally empty seat. to prevent this, take that damned empty seat!

b) strangers are arbituarily unclean, and whenever and wherever possible, don't sit next to them.

c) singapore's people are shell-shocked by their secondary school chemistry education, so much that they believe people are electrons and seats are orbitals. so in order to prevent repulsion which results in a lower ionisation energy and increased unstability, always enter an empty orbital. =D

2. whenever youre sharing a seat with some other stranger and another person leaves his seat leaving behind an empty seat, always move to that empty seat (also for buses).

Diagram:

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) and b) are same as above.

c) singaporeans believe that it is wrong for an electron to be removed from a half-filled orbital rather than from a full one. but what happens on the bus contradicts this knowledge, creating extreme confusion and pandemonium within their minds. so as a corrective response, he moves to the empty seat. i mean orbital.

3. on a crowded bus/mrt (seats are full and there are people standing,) whenever there is an empty seat right in front of you (provided that you are standing,) regardless of it being half-occupied or not, always take it.

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) since you are the person closest to the seat, you are entitled to it. another person who's near you wont want to take it out of courtesy because he acknowledges this fact. if you dont take the seat, the seat will always be empty, and that's... retarded.

b) if you dont take the seat when you can, the person who occupies half the seat will feel insulted. because he knows for some reason you don't want to sit with him, probably because you think he's unclean/in a lower social class than you, and because youre elitist you dont want to sit with him/smelly/fat/ugly/etc...

c) the standing people are a sea of delocalised electrons. when there is a half-filled orbital, a delocalised electron must fill that orbital.

4. if a pregnant lady/senior citizen/etc. comes on board the bus/mrt, pretend to sleep. (this is pretty much covered by others already. so no point explaining.)

5. NEVER talk to anyone on the bus/mrt who isnt your friend.

reasons explaining such behavior:

a) the bus is a conducive place for learning. nobody shall disturb the peace. at all times, the bus/mrt shall be unnaturally quiet.

b) people might just think youre a suspicious article, and inform the staff of your presense or call 999.

c) electrons don't talk.

PS: kaisheng or ernest if you wanna edit this go ahead. add your name to the title.

* got this from talkingcock.com's dictionary. lol!

Darth Honsum: Egoism in communication with the opposite sex

2006-11-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

(Darth Honsum is Jason Ho. xd is here to help him post.)

This can be quite an emo post… depending on what you classify something as emo…

Given that this article seems to be putting too much focus on Zhirong, please substitute all the “Zhirong”s to “Zhirong and Zhirong-wannabes”

Is saying something to a girl really THAT difficult? (This goes out to guys, but it may be vice-versa for girls too). Asking a girl out is really a BIG task or maybe even a project; sometimes it might even require additional adrenaline just to keep us from getting a cardiac arrest. Of course, Zhirong may have found this practice as easy as playing Dota (and thrashing everyone just to prove that he is IMBA).

I’m always curious to know why guys and girls are just like like-poles; they repel. Technically and traditionally guys are supposed to be to gracious, generous, open-minded, gentlemen-ly (pardon me for my usage of vocabulary) people to ask girls out. But what makes a guy hold back in asking a girl out when he really wants to ask a girl out.

1 - Some guys may just really lack the guts (perhaps they are not in IP), have high tendency to faint even before walking up to the girl and say HI!

2 - Do guys really lack the guts to ask, or it’s just to people around him making him shy? Imagine when Zhirong ask a girl out, the whole world will be talking about “OMG! Zhirong is hitting on that XXXX girl from 05IPXX (or 07Sxx / 07Axx in the future)”. Now I’m not hired as the defense lawyer for Zhirong’s ego, but why would you care if Zhirong really ask that girl out? Will that girl get so traumatized that she decides to ask Osama for help and become a terrorist to bomb down to school? Calculate the probabilities guys…

3 - Perhaps some girls are just really hard nuts, really hard to crack them. Perhaps they don’t even give you the chance to crack them! The girl may just hide herself even when you had caught a glimpse of her from a distance. HELLO?! Is the guy going to come up to you and eat you up? No right (since he has the intentions to ask you out)? Now I see this happen before, and I guess that guy might have been really hurt if he finds out that the girl “makes an effort” to avoid him

(from what I saw)

Guy A was chatting with a group of people, which includes Girl A. Girl A is a friend of Girl B, whom Guy A has some** intentions just ** to “get to know her better” or just same something to her like “good morning”. Girl B walked in, and of course walked away from the crowd to another corner. Girl A and B has some stuff to do and have to leave already. And Girl B took out her handphone and smsed Girl A to leave the group. Why couldn’t she just walk up and give Girl A a tap and just leave together? We know sms are cheap things…. but do people REALLY have to go to such extent in trying to avoid someone?

(Above analysis of the situation is my own opinion, there might be some other reasons which I don’t know that accounts for such incident. If it resembles any real life even that has happened to you before, its just pure coincidence)

Talking about communicating with girls, I just knew this guy yesterday and it is the first time in my life (not from TV) that I hear a guy asking a girl if she wants to be sent home or not.

Moreover, this guy takes MRT of a different direction to get home! I really admire this guy for having the guts to ask this, though he “explained” his intentions were merely influenced by the British chivalry and gentlemanliness that James Bond has after watching the movie Casino Royale. And because I admired his guts, I even told him that he can take bus 105 to orchard to change to another bus or take 166 back to Novena from Clementi. It sounds like a perfect excuse, but nevertheless please give some applause for asking this.

Now you may say, “Zhirong more or less have bigger guts than this guy (given that he has the guts to go around and ask how much does bikini costs), he should have no problem in asking the same question, without being inspired by the British chivalry and gentlemanliness that James Bond has.” (You can’t imagine Zhirong being British in the first place… it would be SO out of the world… so don’t imagine) But one thing you can imagine is that if a girl lives at Boon Lay, Zhirong might just “mildly force” himself to send the girl home.

“Aiyah, nevermind lah, I don’t have curfew, very fast one lah... from Boon Lay to Sengkang is just 30 minutes. Hehe.”

Most probably, at 11pm, Zhirong might still be on NEL.

Well … Zhirong has this special bladder in his body apart from gall bladder and urinary bladder that stores his ego and releases it very frequently and never seems to run out of it, you can really say this bladder of his might be larger than his brain, but sometimes you just have to bow down and be impressed by guts that he has. (i.e [Ego] x [K] = [guts], where K is a constant dependent on which girl he is hitting on)Perhaps, he just needs the some enzyme or hormones in his body to produce some sort of negative-feedback to restrict production of such ego and release it when the time is REALLY REALLY REALLY ripe. OR… he should study more on the concept of limits; there are really certain limitations in real life that Zhirong has to know, this is freaking note Dota where he can just be as IMBA as he can.

Polaris: really bored le la.

2006-11-12T20:29:00.000+08:00

Yep I was kinda bored so I decided to write this boliao song to the tune of 'When you're looking like that' by Westlife. Enjoy!

This is a song about a soccer team manager's woes, haha.

He's a 5 foot 10 in jumpsuit and muscle thighs
Everybody's who's staring wouldn't believe that he's number nine
I should have know I was wrong
When I left them for the job at City
But they say you never miss the water until it's gone
Guess I failed to train you
And you're left on the bench tonight

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
I can't believe that goal we gave away
That stupid centre-back
I don't wanna lose my job
I don't wanna lose that sponsorship deal
How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that

They're all dressed up for Chelsea and PSV
Wanna beat relegation get out of this zone
If only I could take control
Champion's league's out of my reach forever
And just a week ago we beat Stoke City
It's so ironic how I had to lose just
To see

That I failed to train you
And you're subbed off the match tonight

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
I can't believe the goal we gave away
I'm gonna get the sack
I don't wanna lose my job
I don't wanna live my life in poverty

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that

I don't want a 4-4-2
I don't even wanna try
How am I supposed to walk on by when you're playing like that

How am I supposed to leave you now
I can't believe that goal we gave away gave away (oh no)
You stupid centre-back
I don't want another loss
I don't wanna field a team without you

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that

How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
I can't believe the goal we gave away
Now I will get the sack

I don't wanna be the boss
I don't wanna live a life in football
How am I supposed to leave you now
When you're playing like that
[x2]

Yup. You guessed it, I'm just really, really bored.

xd: ohfiveeyepeeohone

2006-11-12T14:14:00.000+08:00

just visited ohfiveeyepeeohone.blogspot.com

apparently its some class-commemoration blog created/maintained by 3 of my classmates, jay, gimlim, and peixin.

the blog is entitled "y'all 05ip01 chronicles". how very ironic, don't you think?

coz 05ip01 was never really a class. its more like a collection of cliques. we started just like how the universe started according to the big bang theory. first there were particles floating in space, then they coalesced to form bigger particles, so on....

in the big bang theory these bigger particles attracted other particles and soon grew into big bodies. but the 05ip01 cliques didnt. these cliques hit each other at times, but they never coalesce.

sure, we have had experiences as a class sometimes, but other than that, are we really united? in class, you see people like elizabeth in a corner intently admiring her magical lyrical girl nanoha or whatever shit (which, sadly, is playing on channel u now as im writing this.) and then you see huizhennutaretha, gimlim and john at another corner talking about... whatever they like to talk about. next you'll see kwokie and i doing weird stuff. if you turn around now, you'll see the most horrific sight: SHIHUI GIVING YOU A RETARDED EXPRESSION. RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. dotzzzzz.

and isnt the creation of a recollections blog like ohfiveeyepeeohone a little belated? its just the same stupid human problem: appreciating something only when its too late. damn lame can?

so to all the kids out there, please, dont make this same mistake again when you enter jc. dont hold on too strongly to the memories of ip. not that you shouldnt at all. my point is that we should instead concentrate how to live our jc life to the fullest. if we persist on reliving ip life in jc, it would only bring us unhappiness and... pain. and at the end, we'll probably look back and regret, which is... very dumb.

xd: life's tragic moments.

2006-11-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

instead of a boredlela post, this will be a sadlela post.

as some of you have already known (because i ~~told~~ screamed to you,) something tragic happened to jade and i on the first night of the chalet.

(PLEASE, bored and sick people, interpret the above sentence the CORRECT way.)

let's recount what happened.

Day 1, 5.45 pm

i got off the mrt at tanah merah, feeling incredibly relieved that i actually made it on time. that gave me 15 mins time before the shuttle bus was supposed to arrive. then i made my way to the taxi stand where the bus was supposed to arrive at.

Day 1, 5.50 pm

i saw jade at the bus stop near my location, and went over to say hi.

me: "hi."
jade: "hi."

after some communication, we decided to WALK to the place, coz we didnt know if the bus was going to come or not. hello? like there were no signs, no guides, and no one else we knew. plus, being VERY SMART, i checked up the street directory earlier to find the location of the place. so i was like, "hey-heh! hey-heh! i noe whr it is de. just walk straight and follow the river then can le. trust me, im damn pro de la.. dun nid shuttle bus also can de."

BUT so unrivalled my smartness was, i found the wrong damned place. like getting bounty hunter to track a dopplewalk image.

Day 1, 5.53pm to 6.30pm

WE WALKED. AND WALKED. AND WALKED. follow the red dotted line on the map above to know where we tracked through.

(now that i think of it, jade was actually really 听话; she entrusted her LIFE to me. and when i screwed up, she didnt kill me or anything. that's really admirable. thank you jade. though i dont think you should do that in the future =P)

ultimately, we ended up at laguna golf course, with a fence blocking our way. AND beyond the fence was the EAST COAST PARKWAY. how ingenious. an excellent plot twist.

luckily, i started calling ppl like kaisheng and shihui. i shouted out very loud into the phone, and that attracted the attention of a very nice couple who turned out to be our saviors. (heh so even though the people i called didnt offer much help other than some bewildered huh??'s, calling indirectly saved our lives. that's why you should always pick up a phone to call whenever youre lost and in a good-game situation.)

after a brief conversation with our holy saviors, they knew we GG-ed, and we knew they were on their way home after a golf game, and they could give us a ride. HAPPY LIFE!!

Day 1, 6.50pm

at this point, we arrived at the location where i thought the chalet was. NATIONAL SAILING CENTRE. i thought that was it, because a) the name sounds like so similar. NSC and NSRCC. b) they were both beside a river, and a landmark is sth we use to find places using a map. obs knowledge! (-.-")

anyway, i suddenly remembered it was called NSRCC, so i told them. oh and hey, that sudden remembering shocked me. it was as if some divine being pressed a button to activate that memory. really cool. i just instantly remembered. (okay, if i were a Christian i'd probably say "God gave me a miracle! Praise the Lord!")

BUT to the couple, it was like HOLY SHIT. coz we came in from the ECP, and it was ONE-WAY. to reach NSRCC we had to turn back. and it wasnt funny. they had to drive all the way out of ECP and make a huge U-turn. and guess what, they passed their house on the way. o.O

Day 1, 7.03pm

we finally arrived at the chalet. woohoo? no. not yet. i had to switch to my very-embarrassed-and-sorry-boy mode to sincerely thank the couple. which they deserved.

***

one chinese cheng yu to describe the ordeal: 弄巧成拙

xd: 理解问答年终考题

2006-11-03T22:39:00.000+08:00

ip life. the real part of it is regretfully over. like jason said, no more group projects, no more poster creating, no more fun lab experiments, and, no more class participation.

we used to begrudge how the endless projects and assignments make us "stressed" kids. we used to complain about how unnecessary it is to take so many subjects that we'll probably not even touch again in our lives. we (ok, some of us) also used to get upset and cry over bad results along the ip corridor.

but that's passed. everything is a memory now. we'll move on, and never be able to experience this "childhood", no, "iphood" again. at least not like how we experienced it for the last 2 years.

jc. imagine being reduced to having a dingy cell that roughly measures 5m by 3m as a classroom. imagine having to listen to mainstream lecturers during lectures. imagine not being able to walk from class to class freely to talk to your friends during breaks. IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE ZHIRONG POSING AT 04 CORRIDOR.

this is the point of time in a movie (if this were a movie) when sad songs start playing in the background. like Hold On by Jet and Boston by Augustana. you can actually play it now while reading this post. to experience the melancholic effect.

此刻，我感到一种无法形容的伤感。好凄凉。是不舍得？还是消极，不敢面对新开始？难道这就是结局?

***

Q1. 为什么作者在第一段中使用 "regretfully"?
A. 因为他感到内疚。
B. 因为他感到不舍得。
C. 因为他是个乱用字的白痴。
D. 因为他 bored 了啦。

Q2. 对无法 experience "iphood"，作者感到_____
A. 愤怒
B. 显 (英文: sian)
C. 沮丧
D. 遗憾

Q3. 从文找出2个排比得例子。 [2]

Q4. 请解释一下的句子。[4]
a) this is the point of time in a movie (if this were a movie) when sad songs start playing in the background.
b) 难道这就是结局

Q5. 作者在文章中是怎么谈 "iphood" 的？你同意吗？为什么？

Darth Honsum: CP1101 The Art of Class Participation

2006-10-31T23:25:00.000+08:00

Module Outline

Overview
In the recent years, Class Participation (CP in short) has played an important role in our IP’s GPA scoring system. In gist, Class Participation is the marks that students are fighting for every time just to get their grades pushed up and often teacher just don’t care. 首先, for example, “某某人” from an 05IP class got somewhere 84.4 in his/her maths module earlier this year and the his/her maths teacher was not willing to do ANYTHING to help him/her to push up the grades. 其次, another 某某人 from another 05IP class got 84.4 for his/her physics module and when he/she asked his/her physics teacher for marks, the teacher was unwilling to give grace (which we always beg for) and don’t even know that 0.1 mark more will allow him to get an A+. 除此之外, there are many more examples out there which involves getting a B instead of C+ and getting an A instead of B+. This makes the grades of every IP student to be rested on the hand of our (to a certain extent) “sadistic” teachers.

WE, the IP students must not be foolish and let them control our fates!

WE, the IP students must learn to grab ANY class participation marks by hook or by crook for a few more points on our report cards!

WE must OWN IT ALL! (Grades of course… what else?)

Hence, there is a need for students to learn about Class Participation!

Module Outline

History of Class participation
Since we have only started on class participation about a year ago, there hasn’t been much data recorded except for imba students that managed to spam all the KM discussion board to a degree that KM has to be shut down for a week for maintenance and removing those spamming posts.

Types of class participation being explored
1) Asking a lot of questions – asking questions is VERY important (just like the passage given for Higher Chinese O’ Levels). Not only it opens the treasury of knowledge but it gives us marks! To ensure students ask as many questions as possible, classes of every subject will be extended from 50 mins to 1 hour 30 mins and the teacher will only get to teach for 30 mins while the remaining hour will be meant for students to ask as many questions as they can.

2) Ask smart questions - REALLY SMART questions - Quantity may not be equivalent to quality. So the level of difficulty of questions raised in class will be very important as well. However, the level of difficulty is somehow related to the time required to answer the question. Based on a research done by Dr. Onn-dray from the University of Cheemilogy, Singapore, it is theorized that X = K*(cube root of Y)^5, given that Y is the level of difficulty, X is the time required to answer the question and K is the subject-constant, a constant that is dependent of what topic that the question is asking about and the teacher who is replying the question. Eg. Philosophy will take a longer time than Maths. This theory is also known as the Theory of Cheemilogy.

Hence, he differentiated equation, which is dX/dY, maps out the rate of change of time required with respect to difficulty. These lead us to an entirely new branch of Einsteinian time-space physics: how to create negative time by creating negative difficulty.

3) Socratic Seminar – the module will teach students on the history of Socratic seminars and explore the advantages and disadvantages of Socratic seminars. Advantages: Everyone gets to come together and learn! And secondly they can just say what others just said and get some marks for Class participation. Disadvantages: Smarter people have a VERY HIGH tendency to dominate the seminar and also tend to argue on a particular subject in such minute detail that the rest have no idea what on Earth they are talking about.

Recent research also shows that choosing the correct place to sit is crucial in getting marks for CP. Why so? One of the many reasons is if the person sitting you is a very smart person and he/she has so much things to talk about and runs out of time, you can borrow his/her note and contribute to the discussion!

4) KM Discussion Boards – the bulk of the module will be on KM discussion boards. Given that students pay 30 bucks every semester, they must know how to use it! KM is not just about downloading all the MI lectures, which Mrs Tan has already taken away, and downloading all the notes when you have not been listening in class! There are so many uses of KM that people don’t know! Hence, to make students feel worthwhile spending the $30 (per semester), this module will teach most of the features and usages of KM to the students. The art of discussing online is very crucial given that as much as 5% of module grades can de dependent on KM discussions.

5) Any more? – More types will be explored in years to come.

Analysis of Class participation

All forms of class participation will be analyzed and by analyzing negative examples, students will learn not to repeat their mistakes. Negative examples would include: Asking dumb or lame questions (e.g. Eesha), keeping quiet throughout 2 hours of Socratic seminar or repeating what has been repeated for 3 or more times and no posting on KM frequently even if you don’t know how to post something. Some of these analyses done by students are considered as surprise test and marks will be counted for their module grades.

Module Assessment
1) Worksheets (10%) – Students will be given comprehensions with passages based on previous posts and compositions written by their seniors or other famous authors. Comprehensions will be similar to Higher Chinese O levels with lots of personal response questions, and questions about the literary skills of the writers, little questions will be copy-and-paste forms as this defeats the purpose in understanding these well-written works.
2) On-the-spot response (20%) – Students will be given 5 minutes to prepare on a topic given by the teacher. This forces the students to think on the spot and stretch their minds to the fullest. This is because students have to be prepared for the situations where they just have to crap on the spot during Socratic seminars or when the students only have several minutes left to post something on the KM discussion boards.

*Under the joint-collaboration with the University of Cheemilogy, a simulator would be designed and built by Dr Phuah-2-rong (PhD in higher order social skills) to simulate real life situations where quick-thinking would be put to test, i.e. when 10 different girlfriends wants calls you and demands to have dinner with you

3) Question-based assessment (20%) – On a particular day, most probably during assessment week, the teacher will walk in and teach the class about a particular topic of ANY SUBJECT. Students are required to think of AS MANY questions as possible in the remaining hour. Students have to strike a balance between the quality and the quantity of the question as these two aspects in questioning are given equal weightage. (If the teacher chooses to talk about philosophy… there is a slight tendency that students get higher marks, as most students tends to ask more)

4) Muscle Fitness test (20%) – Given that students have to raise their hands often to ask questions, there will be fitness test to test the fitness of the arm muscles of the students. Students will be given 1 minute to raise their hands as much as possible. Their hands must be as straight as possible as students will have to attract their teacher’s attention during classes, if their hands are not straight, then that “raise” will not be counted. The scoring system is as follows:

60 times ---> 20%
55 times ---> 18%
50 times ---> 16%
…
10 times ---> 0%
5 times ---> -2%
0 times ---> -4%

Do not be astonished by the number of hand-raises a student has to do to get full 20%, in our interview with Dr Onn-Dray, we learned that he did a staggering amount of 120 hand-raises in just 1 minute! What’s more, he is the current world record holder for the most number of hand-raises in 60 seconds! The record he set was 150 hand raises in 60 seconds and he is challenging his own record next year by aiming to do 50 more!

5) Essay (20%) – Students will have to write a 1000 – 2000 word essay about class participation and its importance. *Note: there will be NO plus minus 10% in the word count though it is quite hard to spot students that exceeded the word limit. The following is a sample essay structure:

- Introduction (开头)

- Reasons (原因)
o俗语说: “吃得苦中苦，方为人上人” raising up your hands very often can be very tiring, but makes you a better person
o “心灵的空虚，充足精神上的需要” class participation enriches one’s spiritual life, something that money cannot buy

- Effects (影响)
o Students will be stoning in class
o NJC will not be as vibrant, though its vibrancy now is quite limited already
o Student’s arm muscles will not be as developed. This is crucial to male students as they need to prepare for NS.

- Suggestions (建议)
o Parents must force their children to raise their hands more and teach their children the importance of class participation (灌输真确的价值观)
o Schools have to give all-rounded education and not just focus on knowledge-based learning (不能一味灌输书本上的知识)
o Government should organize more events to promote the importance of class participation and the drastic effects to its economy, military and society.
o The media should come up with educational programmes to teach students how to use the KM even MORE effectively. (spamming of discussion boards will be censored by the government)

- Conclusion (结论)

6) Class inparticipation (10%)
Ultimately, we come to class inparticipation. Class inparticipation in the class participation module is judged according to a student's skill in not participating in the class, since it is absurd to have class participation in class participation. Students are judged according to their skills in stoning, mugging, and doing everything except speaking up. The module tutors believe this is essential, because of Dr Oon-dray’s proposition that "should there be matter, there is anti-matter.” It is impossible to make students realize what class participation about without an anti-class participation.

Suggested supplementary materials:
- Salonpass or other sorts of pain relieving creams for arm muscles
- Calcium and Iron supplements for development of strong bones
- 5 in 1 DVD of documentaries on social relationships and communication skills produced by Dr Phuah
- Book: “How to ask smarter questions”, Eesha Shah, 2006
- “An idiot’s guide to Socrates”, anonymous, 1995
o Note*: to know more about Socratic seminars read page 117 ONLY (just that 1 page out of 1000 pages)
- “报章读后感合集”, 明日, 2003 – 2005, though this is in Chinese, but the structure of essay writing is essentially the same, students may chose to use some of the 常用句 from the book in their essays. The writing techniques are also important. E.g. 反复，排比，引用，举例

************

H3 Class Participation
Selected students that excelled in the module of CP1101 will be given a chance to take H3 Class Participation. These talented students learn much more about Class Participation (like duh) and may even have the honor to work with Dr Onn-Dray and Dr Phuah, assisting them with their respective research areas.

Dr Onn-Dray is currently working on a new type of energy drink to allow students to raise their hands for one full hour! If successful, his students will also have the opportunity to design an advertisement (which requires the team to write a 10000 word creative brief and come up with a visual ad that last for 10 seconds – Dr Onn-Dray has run low in funds after spending the bulk of his sponsored money on the research itself)

Dr Phuah is currently working on a newer and better version of the simulation program that he wrote a few years ago. His current research would require students to work out the probabilities of different number of girlfriends trying to call you at the same time and requesting for the same thing (i.e. dinner or a 3 hour French-kiss in a public toilet) and the finding ways to increase the probability of a particular event to happen i.e. French kissing.

On top of research attachment, students are required to write a 5000 word thesis on the morality of actively participating in class. A sample topic would be: Given that if some students tend to be more active than others, they will get to learn more, and depleting the chances of other students. However, this defeats the MOE’s idea to give a fair education to everyone! Will promoting class participation be an act of utilitarianism? Or it is based on the virtue ethics that everyone has with them as they grow in a particular environment?

H3 Class participation also the student to do more than 60 hand-raises per minute, hence it is decided that PT-Trainer Dan Hong will be invited to give PT to those that are on the brink of failing. Mr Dan Hong has already planned out a programme to train student’s fitness and most importantly to train their arm muscles which must be perpendicular to the shoulder. Some of Mr Dan Hong’s ex-students said that Mr Dan Hong can do 300 jumping jacks non-stop even when the temperature is only 10 degree Celsius and he is wearing only T-shirt and shorts!

upgrading plans

2006-10-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

as you all might have realised, boredlela is a blog "for the bored people, and by the bored people". that's why we always come up with stupid stuff to help bored readers overcome their boredom (and ours, too)

so here's the deal. if youre seriously bored, you can contribute to this blog by coming up with:

a title for our blog replacing the "we have seriously no idea what to name this blog", since that was, implied by itself, randomly created without much thinking.

a slogan for our blog

an advertisement (nope, please dont do it the LA way. do it the boredlela way. this is for those who seriously have nothing better to do.)

a better description for our blog

any other good suggestion you can think of

PLUS, you can also donate to the owners of this blog** ~~:)))))))))))))))))))))))~~ :::::::::::::::::::::)

Paypal/NETS/ez-link/government bonds not accepted

in return, you get, uh, heartfelt thanks from us, and... something to do when youre bored.

**just kidding.

Beanbag: Emophilia the Hereditary Disease

2006-10-22T16:09:00.000+08:00

Introduction
Emophilia is the name of the hereditary genetic illness that impair the individual’s ability to enjoy life. Genetic deficiencies affect mental, emotional and spiritual aspects so as to compromise normal thinking. Consequently, the individual's physical activity is influenced, and this difference in physical activity is one of the telltale signs of emophilia. When an emophiliac person (or emo person in short) is pissed, he or she will stay pissed, and continue to be excessively pissed for a very long period of time. In serious cases, no piss-stimulus is required to trigger off an emo spell.

History
The first record of (EDIT)emophilia* is in Egyptian burial records which tell of an emo Pharaoh, Khanvintrietphien, who ruled really really terribly. The Pharaoh abolished the mandala-ish/patron-client political system, and replaced it with despotism (which was dam screwed cos he was a freaking emo despot). It should be noted that he was so emo, that not even the Jedi Master Chamie Jinn could stop him. Historians commonly refer to this period as the "dark abyss".

Jedi Master Chamie Jinn

After Khanvintrietphien’s death, a 5-day coup followed, in which each and every one of his children was butchered and burnt in Thebes (thus resulting in the invention of the campfire). A new Pharaoh ascended the throne, and the Egyptians attempted to erase the records of this incident from their history. It is believed that the 5-day “cleansing” of the emo gene from ancient Egypt was unsuccessful, due to the escape of one of Khanvintrietphien’s 5000 daughters, Telizabethayereo. By the strength of her feet and her trusty camel-steed, Telizabethayereo escaped to the neighbouring lands of Nubia, where she got caught in the earliest recorded nuclear test ever. Experts say that radiation from the blast mutated the emo gene, weakening its emo effects on the individual. Rumours say that Telizabethayereo survived the nuke, and managed to pass the new, watered down emo gene on to future generations.

In the 12th century, the Chinese expert in muscle aches, Kloria Ghoo, wrote of a muscle-aching family whose males predominantly exist in a moody state. However, she failed to elaborate further in her research paper, and therefore only scored a C, consequently missing an A plus by 0.002%.

Then, in the 1800s, Dr. Hason Jo, a physician who was allergic to Philadelphian cheese, wrote an account about "an emotional disposition existing in certain families." He recognized that the disease was hereditary and that it affected males. He was able to trace the disease back to a woman, Lazel Hee, who settled near Johor Baru in 1720. He attempted to go back in time using his prototype time machine, but failed miserably and died.

The first usage of the term "emophilia" appears in a description of the condition written by Professor Tilbert Wedja at Cambridge in 1870. He documented it in his research paper titled “emophilia and softball”. Sadly, the paper was lost due to a mistake of one of the lab technicians who sold it to the neighbourhood karang-guni man.

Emophilia figured prominently in the history of European royalty and thus it is sometimes known as "the royal disease". Queen Phuah 2-hirong passed the mutation to her son Shayrio and, through several of her daughters, to various royals across the continent, including the royal families of Spain, Germany and Russia. During WWI, the heir to the Russian throne, Olin Cee, had the disease and the emotional distractions this caused the Tsar is sometimes credited with helping bring down the Imperial regime.

Queen Phuah 2-hirong

In the 21st century, due to rapid advances in technology, especially those in the bioengineering sector, have caused the suspected mutation of the emophilia gene. This has resulted in reported cases of extreme emoism, equal to or even worse than the case of Pharaoh Khanvintrietphien. For easy differentiation between the old emo and new-age emo, this new form of emoism has been named xemoxism (derived from the word xemox).

Genetics for Bio freaks.

Females possess two X-chromosomes, whereas males have one X and one Y chromosome. Since the mutations causing the disease are recessive, a woman carrying the defect on one of her X-chromosomes may not be affected by it, as the equivalent allele on her other chromosome should express itself to mask the emo effect. However the Y-chromosome in men has no such equivalent. If the genes responsible for non-emoness present on a male's X-chromosome are corrupted or deficient, there is no equivalent on the Y-chromosome, so the deficient gene is not masked by the dominant allele and he will develop the illness.

Since a male receives his single X-chromosome from his mother, the son of a healthy female silently carrying the deficient gene will have a 50% chance of inheriting that gene from her and with it the disease; and if his mother is affected with emophilia, he will have a 100% chance of being emo.

In contrast, for a female to inherit the disease, she must receive two deficient X-chromosomes, one from her mother and the other from her father (who must therefore be emo himself). Hence emophilia is far more common among males than females.

Treatment
Once you get emophilia, you’re screwed for life. An untested treatment, which was proven by Nobel Prize winner, Kang Zhang, can be used – immersing an emophiliac person in nuclear waste and hoping that the radiation will alter the emo gene. However, an expert in physics and bio, Prof. Genneth Koh, warns that this treatment may cause accidental menopause in women, and erectile dysfunction in men, in addition to various mutations and cysts developing around the body.

In other words, you’re just really really screwed.

Polaris: an unpublished hilarious post

2006-10-21T18:21:00.000+08:00

this was done by ernest a loooooooooong time ago, but unfortunately he didnt publish it. its real funny, and i think it deserves publicity.

so i decided to post this for him. but uh, i didnt get his consent. although by doing so i would violate 7583497534 deontological moral principles, i still believe that my action would bring the greatest good for the greatest number, considering the contents of this post.

here it is:

for my next post, i'll be talking about a special skill i'm about to invent.

Firstly, i'm pretty sure most of you took the chinese test a few mondays back. (depressing).

I think i'm the only loser who didn't finish my 缩短长文, but hands up, who loves doing 缩短长文? i don't see any hands. maybe because i'm in front of the computer screen and nobody knows i'm typing this at the moment. so TOO BAD.

i think i should write another 公函!

余文聪　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 boredlela.blogspot.com成员　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　长颈路96号　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　新加坡邮区667788

Tharman
教育部老板
新加坡教育部
1 北方剥纳伟思塔驾车
新加坡邮区138675

Tharman:

　　　　请提供新的'O'水准format

你好！我是来自国家初级学院的一个又聪明又能干的华文学生。我相信你读了我的title,所以我相信我不用tell you我写这封信的目的。哈哈！

　其实，我的华语相当不差，只是不太好而已。

　真的！我没骗你的。但是，我不太喜欢现在的'O'水准的新format。这是因为我根本不懂理解问答在讲什么！嘿。。。小学的时候，我可以得到满分。　现在，我连一半的分数也不能得到。（这就是说我不及格了啦。）

　我相信如果你换了format，大家会非常的开心。

　与其“缩短长文”，不如“延长短文”？

　还有，理解问答很old-fashioned，不赶时髦。华语“cool”！所以我们的分数也就应该一样的“cool”吗。所以，与其“理解问答”，不如“我问你能不能理解你自己写的篇章，然后你回答自己的问题”？我相信这样，大家一定回认为华语“cool”！连林俊杰，hossan leong 跟另外个我不知道／我不管是谁的人也会愿意做我们的'O'水准卷子。

　华语“cool”！

文聪启　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 2006年8月13日

a notice

2006-10-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

alright, i know this is pretty... dishonourable, but erm, the problem is, we havent started making the podcast yet.

o.O!

we've got ideas though, just that its a little difficult to convert them into practical forms.

you'll see why:

our softwares and hardwares:
1. windows sound recorder
2. itunes
3. a noobish built-in microphone on kaisheng's laptop
4. ernest's laptop (for playing different sounds so that they can be recorded through the microphone)

not to mention our "tight" schedules =P

well, anyway, help is very much appreciated if you are interested.

...and if you are bored, of course.

South Park: Make love, not Warcraft!

2006-10-11T20:26:00.000+08:00

here's a hilarious video. south park's collaboration with blizzard on world of warcraft. for those who have at least a basic understanding of mmorpg, of course.

xd: on LA essay

2006-10-06T23:29:00.000+08:00

LA essay is... devastating.

first, we arent given guidelines. so we have to rip our brains apart to find good material to argue for.

second, even if i find some good material, ak, being the irrational person she is, will probably point lines out and comment that "this is insignificant/not really true". whatever. i mean, lit is all about expressing views. how can you just mark me down because my views are different?

third, besides LA, there is still physics. and chem. and bio. and probability. and econs.

and end.

xd and Polaris: osama si liao arh?

2006-09-25T00:28:00.000+08:00

after all this while, ive learned that opinions on certain taboo issues and should not be freely expressed. such taboo issues include: religion, ethnicity, certain controversial ideas, events, and individuals (eg. Holocaust, Hitler), and, of course, the good and flawless singapore white PAP gahmen.

but in this post we're going to touch on one of the above. we'll try to make it as politically correct as possible, though.

according to bbc, "The Saudi government has denied a French newspaper report saying France's secret services believe Osama Bin Laden is dead."

so, the big question: osama die already anot?

well, if he died, hooray and not hooray. hooray coz he's probably not able to do any more damage to this already scarred world, and not hooray coz he can never be brought to justice in a court trial. which is regretful.

but if he didnt die, bush is happy, coz he would be able to secure his position as the president because there is an enemy for the americans, an enemy who creates fear. and bush uses fear as a political tool, according to the LA compre.

but come to think of it, it couldnt have been fun to live as a fugitive for 5 years. bad food, poor shelter, bad living conditions. (he can't live in a normal city without risking getting identified, right? and it's not like everyone there totally support him. there are bound to be nosy american NSA agents. and probably some kiasu singaporeans who specially make their way into afghanistan to spot osama. "比中 4D 还要好 leh! 美金几百万 sia!")

another issue is that since the death of steve irwin, there hasnt been another nation-wide msn event. then, it was an irritating tortoise.

now, how about a emoticon in front of our nicks to celebrate/show our hopes for osama's death?

suggestions (type them out in an msn chatbox):

:) the yaye osama die liao symbol
(nah) the ram emoticon, "the closest thing available to msn that resembles osama"
:D the big grin smiley (yes, there is no link. for those who don't know what's going on.)
(tu) for the diehard steve irwin fan that believes stevie's death still owns osama's
(li)(ap) the aeroplane in a lightning storm emoticon (symbolising that osama's plans are doomed to fail) either that, or in rain or storm he's gonna fly a plane into another skyscraper.

and, like i said, we are not terrorist suspects and we don't worship or idolise osama. so please don't give us trouble, mr policeman. we want none.

P.S. this is probably the last boredlela post that involves xd and polaris before the assessment week. we will be going on a 3-week hiatus. we'll be back with our first podcast.

good luck for assesment week, guys.

R.I.P Osama. Dead or Alive?

Beanbag: It's alive! It's alive!... well, not really.

2006-09-20T21:25:00.000+08:00

[missing addresses] (-8 marks)

IP 先生/小姐/女士： (-1 mark)

[missing title] (-1 mark)
本人是个boredlela的blogger。今日特投此函to.. uhh my brain's not working. Remember hup2-hup2? No, i guess not. Maybe polaris does. (-9 marks)

hup2-hup2. ABUSED

and he died from severe physical and mental and psychological and emotional and what-have-you trauma caused by mr benjamin chua.

and now, somebody's back with a vengeance.

-=[HUP3-HUP3]=-
coming soon, to a classroom near you.
21/9/2006

xd: great day today

2006-09-18T22:03:00.000+08:00

today was superb. let's recount what happened.

in the morning, i completed the KSA application form, only to realise, to my dismay, that i was the only loser who didnt have a research attachment background among the people who also applied in my class.

cumulative mood rating: 70%

next, during chinese, i received my compre exercise, which i failed together with gimlim. (come to think of it, at least there's someone who shares my plight, so i should feel happy.) got a retarded 18.5/42. it didnt help either that i just took my prelims.

cumulative mood rating: 55%

after lunch was physics. after watching the presentations by my fellow classmates (on movie scenes,) i realised how little information my own group had given on the poster. "oh damn. we're gonna lose content marks."

cumulative mood rating: 45% (fail le)

next was probability. as we tried the examples related to p&c, i was reminded that i had only managed a mere pass (16/30) for the last test. and maths is supposed to be the subject that im likely to score in. i also found out that i hadn't touched probability at all since his last lesson with us.

cumulative mood rating: 25%

finally, chem. how wonderful had it been to realise that i was unfamiliar with most of what mr loh said. "i think i'm really screwed."

cumulative mood rating: 10%

and then i went home. i checked the mirror, and saw someone with atrociously messed up hair.

that's it.

cumulative mood rating: -10%

and guess what, my group is performing the crucible tomorrow. which doesnt really help.

***

then again, i think of the poor african kids who are starving to death and getting eaten by vultures. and of course, the rwandan people who got killed and didnt have proper graves so that they had to lie on roads and in churches like Warcraft III ghouls.

so maybe my day wasnt that bad after all.

cumulative mood rating: 50%

the prophecy

2006-09-13T21:26:00.000+08:00

war is raging
cowards hide
armed with instruments of doom;
they fearlessly march into the battlegrounds

with no armor
no backup
no mercy
just pure brute strength;

they fight
chaos rip through,
darkness descends;
as panic subtly creeps into the warriors' hearts

few die bravely
others struggle to hold on to life
while the Chosen Ones face the enemy with equaminity;
and fools who choose to remain behind

but they all know not
the ultimate evil has not yet awakened
he who possess the power to crush
to wipe out all traces of life

the reign of chaos
the frozen throne
the tragic sacrifice
and the ritual tomes

until then
live on, warriors
and learn from the spellbook of doom
for it be the only way for the heroes
to enter the sinister dungeon
where the ancient evil looms

xd and Polaris: a proposal for a new LA module

2006-09-10T20:21:00.000+08:00

LA2103: The Art of Emo
- Module Outline

Overview:

As the world progresses, competition reaches a new height, and everything becomes more demanding. For example, it is now impossible to do without the internet, and those ulu uncles at coffee shops without proper blogging skillz will definitely lose out. (Lee Hsien Loong also says so leh!) Such things result in stress in every individual, and there is a need for these stress to be let out.

HENCE, we need to learn how to be EMO.

LA2103 would teach you just that. This would be a 1 semester long module, and since it's an emo module, it is an E-MOdule. (no link la, but never mind.) Students are required to go on the KM to download slides, listen to the lectures, and complete a worksheet which is about the thickness of a 现代汉语词典.

Module outline:

Students taking this module will be taught the following stuff:

1. An history of Emocore writings, dating back to prehistoric times, when dinosaurs first scratched on tree barks to express their emotions.

2. An Introduction to the most famous Emocore writers, such as Martin Luther King, and also contemporary Emo writers, like Colin Ee.

3. The types of emo:

a.) Emo kid emo: “The world hates me because my hair covers my eyes and I wear black. Only black.”b.) Meaningless life emo: “My life is meaningless. I’ll kill myself. But first let me blog about it.”
c.) Bored emo: “Sian. I’m damn bored and school work is killing me. Oh my 天.”
d.) Extreme hardcore emo: Nobody survived this kind of emo. We can find them in Hell.
e.) Philosophical emo: “What is my purpose on earth? Time to meditate.”
f.) Those who tell the wall to shut up. Twice. – Insane emo
g.) Hatred emo: I hate my mom, who hates me. I hate my dad, who hates my mom, who hates me.
h.) Vulgar and pissed emo: “Fuck these people. Sons of Bitches. Get the fuck out of my face. This world doesn’t need people like you. You are the scum of the Earth, and even Hell would reject you. Morons. Incompetent fools………”
i.) The-world-is-a-rotten-place emo: “O, what becometh of thy world! Friend, what be thy sorrows?” Friend: “er.. like, nothing?” “That be a pitiful sorrow!”

4. An analysis of literary text in the form of songs, for example Jimmy Eat World's Crush, Slipknot's People = Shit, and of course the most controversial Emo Kid, by Adam and Andrew. Students will also be provided with reading material koped from people's blogs, and these will be discussed during lessons.

5. Assessment:

Class Participation: 10%
Students will be judged on how emo they are when they express themselves in class. If they can scream and whack their tables, they would immediately be given a pass. If they can pretend to run out of class and attempt to jump off the parapet or simply attempt suicide in any way, they would be awarded with a further 3%. The remaining 2% would be reserved for students'... enthusiasm.
Join Singapore idol and make it to the last four? Full marks!

Journal (blog): 20%
Weekly, students are required to go home to crap out an emo post on their blogs, since its an E-MOdule. A good example of such a post is available on boredlela.blogspot.com, entitled "xd: another emo post". Students are required to create a tagboard on their journal blogs, so that their tutors can give comments. Marks will be awarded on the degree of emo. If a student makes a teacher feel sorry for him/her, he would be given a pass. 15%-20% would be rewarded if the student makes the teacher feel emo as well. 30% (with bonus 10%) would be rewarded if the teacher kills herself after reading the post.

Take home assignment: 20%
Some time in the middle of the module, students would be given an assignment. It would be a 800-1500 words long essay which reflects the student’s life. A sample assignment question: How f*cked up has your life been so far? Rubrics would be similar to the journal blog’s.

On-the-spot essay writing (assessment week): 20%
During assessment week, students will need to write a review on an emo text. These texts can be taken from anywhere: Colin Ee’s blog, leehuizhen’s blog, boredlela, etc. If a student can understand and identify the author’s emo type, he would manage a pass. If he gives in depth analysis, he would be awarded 20%-25%. If he becomes so emo and writes out an in-depth essay with blood from his slashed wrist, he would be given full marks.

Group project: 30%
Students are required to split themselves into groups of 4-5 for this project. At the end of the semester, groups must come up with a plan to cause the suicide of a normal person through the use of emo-inducing techniques. Students can choose to present their plans in whatever formats possible: posters, songs, computer games, or even a speech. If a group does not succeed in making a person commit suicide, they would be failed. 15-29% would be awarded if the group succeeds to make a person commit suicide. Full marks would only be awarded if the group's project can cause the suicide of a discipline master called Baron Chua.

Tips for students:
Always bring along fake blood with you so that you can pretend to slash your wrist in class.
Grow a long fringe to give yourself the emo look.
Listen to Jimmy Eat World and Taking Back Sunday everyday.
Try to steal your sister’s mascara.
Eat tacos.

Resources:
Colin’s blog: rondasami.blogspot.com
leehuizhen’s blog: iloveblackandwhite.blogspot.com
The journal of an Emo Kid, by xemox, published after his suicide
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/emo

The boredlela team: Steve Irwin, and his... turtles?

2006-09-05T20:06:00.000+08:00

First of all, on a solemn note, the members of boredlela would wish to express our sincere sympathies to the tragic loss of Stephen Robert Irwin - a great man who was deeply passionate about animals and who died doing what he loved best.

now, on a less tense note, let's look at the effects of his passing on.

Crocodile hunter.
Crocodile hunter.
Crocodile hunter.

Steve Irwin, crocodile hunter.
Not turtle hunter.
Crocodile hunter.

I repeat, crocodile hunter.
so.. what's up with everyone and the turtles?

look at that!

Steve Irwin does this.

Not this.

So why are we getting these turtles?

we personally believe that attributing a turtle to a recently deceased man is a great disrespect. we all know too well that turtles, or 乌龟 in chinese, is often used to insult people for cowardice or simply to show contempt for nasty people.

That's why we shouldn't label people as turtles.

However, we know that singapore is world-renowned to have very compassionate and creative teenagers who dislike following the crowd. Our unique singaporean teenagers would also be very willing to help, in one way or another, the family and relatives of Steve Irwin to overcome this not-so-happy period.

And therefore our teenagers have thought of a very wise plan: to put something on their msn nicks to commemorate Irwin's death. here's what analysts believe:

"Due to the lack of a crocodile emoticon in "msn default emoticons", teens are turning to the closest reptile they can find, in this case, the turtle, as a means to commemorate the day where this great nature-lover passed on." However, a specific 'analyst' thinks that maths questions are a much better form of commemorating special days.

In addition, we feel that by putting turtles on msn nicks will contribute indefintely to aid the family and relatives Steve Irwin, because who knows, maybe someone out there will donate 3 cents to Irwin's family for each turtle on msn. well, at least those chain mails we receive all come from those people.

HENCE, we believe that we can no longer push the blame to singaporean teenagers for doing this. we need to blame someone else.

WE MUST SUE MICROSOFT for not forecasting Steve Irwin's death and subsequently creating a new update for msn messenger which includes a crocodile emoticon for the singaporean teenagers' use.

Meanwhile I guess we'll have to settle with the turtle... Or do we?

ahh. Across the internet, we have yet again discovered a new trend growing among youths. Till date, it has attracted FOUR. Not bad, for a movement that started only minutes ago!

It involves a ram and a mountain goat. Beats turtles, hands down.

We call this the animated fighting goat and ram movement.

How many of you have actually eated a ramly burger? well, technically they aren't made from rams. So there's no link. Sorry that was off the topic.

This movement plans to commemorate all the rams and goats who died in vain for children who don't finish their food. So please, please, children, please finish your food.

We even have a crest for our movement. it is as follows:

Designed it myself, i might add!
Please don't make me do a creative brief for this logo. I will scream at you, AK-47chromosome.

xd: another emo post

2006-09-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

These days, time pass really fast.

I try to get things done, but always end up finding myself wasting so much time. It's almost as if I'm being squeezed through a vacuum cleaner pipe. Everything else seem to be moving at their own normal pace, while my life is being fast forwarded...

I dont like this at all. I'm afraid. No, maybe I'm just not used to it.

All these remind me of a story I've once heard from the obs instrutor: There was a bold young man. One day, he said, "God, give me the power to change the world." Many years passed, and he aged. Yet he found that he accomplised nothing. So he altered his statement, "God, please let me change the people around me." Another 2 decades or so passed, and he was already and old man. Again he achieved nothing. Only then he recognised his naivety. So finally he said, "God, I have been foolish all the while. Just give me the power to change myself."

No, its not that I want to change the world. It's just that I somehow feel the same way that the old man would feel. That all the time that passed were not put to full use. Wasted. Especially when it started with everything looking promising. And I guess this is making me subconsciously stressed. I'm just hoping that this stress doesnt affect my daily life.

But some effects of stress are already creeping into my life. Subtle, but detectable. I got really frustrated today when my mother started telling me about the importance of exercise and a healthy diet. So rudely I told her to stop talking and that I understood what she was getting at. I felt regretful after that, but didnt even realise why I became so frustrated at the first place. I cant even taste food properly, and find that stuff at fast food restaurants either too salty or too bland. Or simply just not good. Appetite decreased too.

And to everything else, I'm getting numb...

This September holidays is not helping things much, if not making things worse. I've already spent the first two days sleeping or playing or futilely trying to complete some work. And its really frightening how I fall asleep when its day and wake up in the dark. Sometimes I really wish all these was just a nighmare. A horribly constructed nightmare.

But then again I know I'm kidding myself. This is no dream. This is my life. My not so happy life. With the year coming to an end, along with the 2 years of genuine IP life, and the chinese o levels and end of year exams perilously close, its no wonder everything seems to be against me. Perhaps I'm reactionary. Or maybe I just fear change. Either case, it sucks...

And the funny thing is, I'm not a Christian. I've got no God to rely on for additional emotional support. Maybe I'm a free thinker. But most of the time I find myself as an atheist. Even a nihilist. But at least I'm not on the side of Satan. Probably that's why I'm confused at times. I feel alone. A hermit. But then again I would rather not be a prodigal son, because it'd really be shameful. Dishonourable, on my part. Even if God would accept me, I cant.

These days friends are my sole emotional support. Perhaps this blog too. Thanks guys. Thanks for being such good understanding friends.

Well, sometimes. Sometimes I just wish I could turn back time, to be an 8-year-old who enjoys going out with his family...

PS: nope, im not committing suicide. not that bad la. LAME. o.O

xd: women are weird

2006-09-02T13:17:00.000+08:00

here's a post worth reading. taken from iloveblackandwhite.blogspot.com (if you know whose blog it is.)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006 9:47 PM

pimples are invading my face !

here's how the story goes :

i finished using my loreal facial wash and could not find time to go get a new tube.
so currently, im using this eversoft one which is my youngest brother's or something.
and eversoft totally dries up your face !never use eversoft.
i have no idea how my brother's complexion remains so perfect.

oh wells.

i hate eversoft.
gave me pimples : (
and i hate pimples.

i want to get a tan. a tan makes one's pimples less obvious i realise. like cos your entire face is dark so pimples are not easily seen. like when i came back from obm and i was tan and my pimples were momentarily 'invisible'.

i love tans.
takes away pimples : )
and i hate pimples.

all boxed up //

comments: she wants a tan now. cool. but we know that in less than a decade from now, she would be dying to get a fair complexion. so she'll shop for all sorts of weird weird facial creams, serums, hydrochloric and sulphuric acid (this is just in case those stuff dont work, so that she can corrode the mirror away.) and erm, of course, that loreal facial wash.

conclusion: women are weird.

PS: im sorry if this sounds too satirical. but i just cant help it, eh? LOL! and btw, I DONT EVEN NOTICE THAT THERE ARE PIMPLES ON YOUR FACE! dont be so self conscious le la!

xd: an example of a really really really dumb government

2006-08-30T19:36:00.000+08:00

the following material is purely fictional and does not relate to any events in history. any resemblence to events, dead or living, is purely coincidental.

Below is a newspaper article:

INFLATION HAS BEEN A SERIOUS PROBLEM IN OUR COUNTRY. NOW YOU CAN DO YOUR PART TO CONTROL IT!

After an interminable 5 minutes debate, the monetary committee has finally decided on a foolproof plan to curb inflation, which has been plaguing our country for years. The government is going to call for a money burning exercise on the 31 August 2006.

Venue:
Any primary/secondary school/jc around you.

Time:
12pm-4pm

What to bring:
A lot of money (probably $1000 per person)

Rationale of the exercise:

this is done to increase the price of money by reducing the quantity of money circulating within the country. (what a marvelous breakthrough in monetary policy!) the effects of this exercise can be illustrated by the graph below:

by reducing the quantity through burning, the price of money would rise, and along with it the purchasing power of our currency. and thus the general price level would fall! INFLATION SOLVED! Isnt your government just pure genius?

Environmental issues

Luckily, the smart brains here at the government have also considered about the environmental effects of burning such a great amount of money. As a solution, it is compulsory that everyone only bring money in thousand-dollar notes. This would greatly reduce the amount of soot released into the air as compared to burning lots of notes of smaller denominations.

Theft?

Your reliable government has thought of theft too. To solve this, we recommend that everyone put your notes in your left shoe (please keep this secret). And voila! the robbers would never be able to guess where you hid your money!

Please do your part for the country's economey. Start withdrawing your money for burning NOW!

For enquiries, please call Tinkle Friend at 1800-2744788

the boredlela team: for the muggers and muggers at heart

2006-08-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

at boredlela, the visitor's welfare is one of our top priorities. our aim is not to get anyone too indulged in our blog that he/she forgets about studying, resulting in poor grades. hence, we've decided to post a series of mugger questions for your doing pleasure.

note: answers will not be on the km. they would instead be posted in the "comments" below :D

Qn 1:
Topic: Permutations and Combinations

if that caused you to nearly have an asthmatic attack, not to worry. coz the question below would probably give you newfound interest in p&c. somehow. i don'ch know. here it is:

Girls love to do weird handsigns such as the peace symbol and the one-finger-point. that's covered by Polaris' post. But here's the thing: how many symbols can you make altogether out of your five fingers, if
a) you're only allowed to point your finger up or fold it completely
b) you have the additional option to fold your fingers halfway.
c) you're an emo kid and you slit your wrists.
d) with some l33t skill you can cut your fingers, and magically attach it back to where other fingers grow.

hint: usually fingers are distinct objects.
additional note: vulgar symbols are not allowed.

Qn 2:
Topic: Physics

another very much hated subject i guess. but again, not to fear. this one is, too, on familiar grounds.

The SIPG (stereotypical IP girl) has an uncanny ability to run and perform certain actions within an incredibly short time. for example, a dash to the girls' toilet takes only 1~5 seconds (this is depending on the class. 01 nearest to the toilet, so it takes 1 second. 05 furthest, it takes take 5 seconds. let's just assume everyone is using the TC block toilet), and tucking in a blouse takes a mere 3 seconds.

So one day, Ernest Eu entered 05ip02 and shouted out loud, "MS SELVA IS GOING TO DO A SPOTCHECK!"

Unnerved, SIPG #46 Yu Fang dashed to the toilet, tucked in her blouse, and then dashed back into 05ip02. all these in 7 seconds. assume that Yu Fang's weight is a whopping 75kg (wow. heavier than john song), g=9.81ms^-2, and the distance from Yu Fang's seat in 02 to the toilet is 5.3m.

i) calculate her displacement.
ii) find the total work done by Yu Fang, assuming that tucking in the blouse takes 76J per metre of blouse to tuck in, and Yu Fang has a circular waist of radius 0.35m.
iii) calculate the overall power Yu Fang needs to muster every time in order to avoid doing CWO on saturday.
iv) assuming the actual work she does to tuck her blouse in is 34 J, calculate her efficiency.

[optional]
after the brief episode, Yu Fang thought she was lucky and went to the Häagen-Dazs to eat her favourite ice cream, "The Ultimate Duck Oil, Chicken Fat, Whale Blubber, Lipid Supreme" (which has a density of 131.4352kg/m^3) as a celebration (to commemorate the special day). she gained a total of 1564356.247911 kcal of energy.
i) what was the total volume of ice-cream she consumed, assuming that 12.3249% (by mass) of the food she eats gets converted into useful energy??
hint: use E=mc^2 to change the energy into mass first
ii) using that energy alone, how many NJC steps can she climb, if each NJC step has a height of 14.8 cm?

after climbing 50 steps, Yu Fang could not climb anymore. she lost her balance, and fell from the height she is at to the ground, right onto some poor ulu jc guy. would he be killed instantly? explain clearly, including all assumptions in your answer.

Qn 3: Differentiation - Rates of Change

another frustrating subject, i guess.

Feeling depressed about what had just happened, Yu Fang decided to puke her "The Ultimate Duck Oil, Chicken Fat, Whale Blubber, Lipid Supreme" ice cream out onto the floor. assuming that her viscous puke forms a circular patch that increases in area at a constant rate of 5.3 m^2/s, find the rate at which the radius r is increasing at the instant when r = 1.3m. (in this question, take π = 3.14159)

Qn 4:
Topic: Econs!
A new wave of panic spread over singapore secondary school students as the OEPC (Organisation of Exam-paper Publishing Communities) decided reduce the amount of chinese test papers they will publish. In an interview, the head of the OEPC said, "既然华文要cool, 我们认为我们这些出版华文试卷的人，也应该出一份力. 因此, 我们决定推出新的 limited edition 华文试卷, 一共只出版 1337 卷，希望能为新加坡的华文学生带来一种另类的华文学习经验."

What's more, due to the imminent o levels, students are more anxious than ever to get their hands on chinese test papers.

Using a suitable econs mechanism, predict and explain the effects of this on the singapore secondary school student economy.

more coming up soon. (we've been quite busy lately you see, and this is what we've managed so far.)

Mr Brown: National Day Rally - mai ham.

2006-08-22T20:35:00.000+08:00

http://www.mrbrownshow.com/?p=197
go listen to this!
ROFL
LAWL
LOLZZ

just go listen. yessssh

Lord of the Rongs

2006-08-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

Three Rongs for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Poser on his dark throne
In the Land of oh-four where the Poser lies.
One Rong to rule them all, One Rong to find them,
One Rong to bring them all and in the darkness pwn them,
In the Land of oh-four where the Poser lies.

"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul"
(the last 3 lines in rongish)

and it's History now - Rong Imperialism.

xd: short random post

2006-08-20T22:19:00.000+08:00

i found this on the wikipedia yesterday. its quite cool, coz you never knew that such a thing existed even though you're exposed to it so frequently.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valspeak

well, dont be so quick to conclude that people like cat are dumb though. you might stir up an outrage.

at the meantime, let's check out why boys are s0 k00lx and l33t.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leet

"The name Leet itself is derived from the word elite (also 31337). Elite has been used in the past to designate a group of users as belonging to a higher social echelon than other users. Originally, elite had been reduced to one syllable, leet."

i hope that made you understand boys slang better.

(maybe sometime we should write an article on the boys vocab glossary.)

Zhirong and ___

2006-08-20T08:19:00.000+08:00

(sing to the tune of "Tarzan and Jane" by Aqua.)

Deep in oh-four,
In the land of adventure, lives zhirong.

Oh yo-yee, oh yo-yee, oh-yee yo-yee yay,
I am ___ and I love to ride an elephant.

My name is zhirong, I am not a Man.
The IP poser from poser-land!
Come, Baby come, I'll take you for a swing.
去死吧 zhirong, I'm still mugging!

zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
He makes people puke and his hair's all wrong.
zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
So listen to the poser song.

Oh yo-yee, oh yo-yee, oh-yee yo-yee yay,
I am zhirong from oh-four, You can be my friend.
Oh yo-yee, oh yo-yee, oh-yee yo-yee yay,
I am ___ and I love to ride an elephant.

When you touch me, I feel funny.
I will die before you touch me!
Come to my tree-house, dota party.
No, I won't go, 'cos you will pwn me!

zhirong is imba, that's no surprise,
He makes people screwed and his hair is 'nice'.
zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong',
So listen to the poser song.
[repeat]

Go zhirong, go to oh-one.
Hey zhirong, go to oh-three!

When I am posing, I feel funky.
Why do you keep on dao-ing me?
zhirong is here, come kiss me baby.
Oochie coochie, kiss me? WTF!

zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
He makes people puke and his hair's all wrong.
zhirong is imba, zhirong is 'strong'.
So listen to the poser song.
[repeat]

And so they got funky, but will zhirong have ___?
Stay tuned!

xd: stereotyping the typical ip girl

2006-08-19T11:44:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: this post does not necessarily characterise every single girl in the ip. and its not meant to be sardonic. its just meant to educate boys about creatures called girls.

i love to wear drawstrings, coz they make me look less retarded, even when i have to practise my formidable blouse-tucking skill daily so that i could make myself look proper to miss selva within 3 seconds.

i love shopping for useless stuff at orchard. but best if it was my boyfriend who gave it to me la...

i just cant stand love movies like "the lake house". I MUST WATCH IT! RARR. and omgoodness! the korean movie "love: 24/7" is coming out next week! the male lead character is that SUPER HOT korean guy!

i just dont get ip boys. i think they are disgusting creatures who are zhirong cult extremists. they're also insensitive sometimes. well, a lot of times. *vomits*

i love to blog about daily experiences. here's one of my blog posts:

really very tired today.. i cant believe that 某某人 actually glanced at me for a moment! i think he thinks im pretty. no la. just kidding. hahahahahhaahha. i think im weird. huizhen wrote me a postcard today. it was really sweet! thank you huizhen! hahah. AND SUDDENLY I FEEL LIKE EATING ICE CREAM FROM SWENSON'S. *screams* although it makes me fat.. =( but never mind, i guess i'll just do extra jogging to burn off those fats. rarr. oh i almost forgot! tmr is nut's birthday! i have to get a present for her later. got a lot of work to do, and still have that p&c test next week! *panics* oh no. i have to MUG now.

posted by: the typical ip girl date: 25/04/06

i really like magazines like "seventeen" and "girls just rock". they've got all sort of fashion updates! oh and i think the cover girl of seventeen last week is so pretty! and her spaghetti too. i must go orchard to shop for it someday.

i love to write postcards to my friends. most of the time i'll include five-mouthed smileys inside. like this one --> :))))) words like "sweet" and "muacks" are essential.

i think i'm very fashionable. everytime i go for outings i'd wear the most attractive set of clothes that i have. so that by some chance i'd be spotted by some hot guy. hahahahaha…!

im dead serious when i do projects. i must make sure my work is as neat and pretty as possible. so that i will get an A.

I HATE PHYSICS! but even so i must mug for it hard.

sometimes i think ive got a lot of fats. and when i gain 1 kg over the past year, i'd panic like crazy. but at the same time i would choose not to care about the fact that ive grown by 10 cm.

if some terrible thing happened (for example getting 25/40 for my maths test,) i would get emo, go home immediately after school, and cry. maybe id call jiafang and tell her about my feelings.

if some boy wrote what he thinks about us, the ip girls, i must retaliate!

so, wanna write about what you think of ip boys? send a entry to any one of us. kaisheng, ernest, or me. through email or through msn. haha. we encourage everyone to become special guest posters on our blog.

Polaris: random post

2006-08-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

Hello again

So maybe this isn't a random post. I know this post might garner some hate and sow discord but I mean, freedom of speech and freedom of thought and opinion. Self-censorship can wait.

I shall now complain along the lines of gender.

Females.

Disclaimer: Do not read beyond this point if you're either

1. female
2. pro-female
3. zhirong

And my post is referring to nobody in particular, and no I am not planning a genocide on the female race.

well. first off i'd like to start off with the different categories of girls we should dislike.

1. Kawaii nehz!

Background knowledge
Yuck. Bimbos who take neoprints and go shopping all day, and/or dumbasses who think "speaking jap" is "kawaii nehz!".

Well for starters, "jap" is a derogatory term which may offend someone who is truly japanese.

These bimbos don't really serve much a purpose.

Quote:
"Nani!" "Baka!" (both of which i have yet to find out what they mean)

Symptoms
you know you're one of them when you

1. tYpE LiiKe dIiShH. ShO kEwLzX.
2. Blurt out random japanese words which people around you don't seem to understand.
3. Everytime you take a photo or a neoprint, you press your index finger into your cheek, or you make that dumb "peace" sign with your index and middle finger.
4. You listen to chinese and japanese music. both of which you might not really understand what the lyrics really mean.
5. Your report card just says "F" all over it

or

you don't even have a report card.
6. The way you dress is... horrible.
7. You might wear eyeliner and paint your nails.
8. You have an annoying voice.
9. You have a pink handphone.

1. It might help to have a translator who can speak broken japanese.
2. Toothpicks to blind your eyes before they do.
3. A lighter might help. you could set them on fire... The amount of hair wax they use could start a barbecue.

2. My parents hate me.

Background knowledge
Goth-chick wannabes with black fingernails, black toenails, jet-black hair, lots of eyeliner and maybe powder on the face.

Wardrobe: Black darnkess. Black pants black shirts. Maybe occasional black skirts. Oh yes don't forget the tie.

Quote:
"My parents just don't get me, you know. Just because my hair covers half my face doesn't make me cyclops. I want to drop out of school, play in a band and make music and write poetry."

Symptoms

1. Your favourite band is "blood rip romance and suffocate me dry" or something along that line.
2. Your appearance scares the shit out of slipknot.
3. You have a red barcode around your wrist region.
4. You only have one facial expression.
5. You and your friends look like clones.
6. Your best friend is your online diary.
7. Your life is a dark abyss.
8. Sun-tanning? No way, Jose. You tan in the moonlight.
9. You fashion sense is...sad.

Precautions and measures to take when approaching these people

1. Tissue paper.
2. Patience.
3. Paper for them to tear up.
4. Tacos.

3. Yay! Everything is happy!

Background knowledge

These people are happy. Everything about them is bright. Black is reserved for solemn occasions like when their pet dog dies.

Quote:
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine! Yay!"

Symptoms

1. You love pink.
2. You dress in bright colours
3. You have a high squeeky voice.
4. You are over-enthusiastic.
5. You don't need alcohol to get high.
6. Your favourite TV show is Barney and Friends. And you're already sixteen.
7. Your favourite band are The Wiggles.
8. While people have extra value meals, you order The Happy Meal.
9. You cried when the terminator died.
10. You watched the whole "Land Before Time" series twenty times. While you were in secondary school.

Precautions and measures to take when approaching these people

1. Cuddly furry soft toys.
2. Tellytubby VCDs.
3. A big heart.
4. High noise and wailing tolerance levels are required.

4. The Penultimate Bimbo.

Background Knowledge

Careful, anything you say about them might cause the whole clique to just turn against you. You don't want to get on their bad side.

Nonetheless pretty harmful, just pretty dumb-blonde-like. Think "Legally Blonde".

Quote
"Lets go shop at that new designer outlet! I want to get that top i saw in "Her World" magazine. So hip and trendy!"

Symptoms

1. Your favourite hobby is shopping and hanging out with "the babes" at orchard.
2. Your second most favourite hobby is admiring yourself in the mirror.
3. Your third favourite hobby is tanning at sentosa.
4. You take 5 hours to choose clothes.
5. You take another 5 hours to choose the right way to wear it.
6. You don't dare eat pizza because it'll dirty your manicured nails.
7. You listen to perfect 10 98.7 FM because you are "hip" and "in".
8. You love arrerrr and beeee music. (R & B)
9. You pretend to do sports. But you kind of suck at them. The most you've done is smacked a beach volleyball into a guy's b*tch volleyballs.
10. You wear your hair in a million different ways.
11. You cry and scream after every haircut.
12. You love chocolates but they'll make you fat. (Even though you're half my weight)
13. Your fourth favourite hobby is... Dieting.

Precautions

1. Have lots of cash. Chances are they'll run out and need to borrow from you.
2. Screw the cash. Have a credit card.
3. Long arms are a must. To hang all their plastic bags.
4. A towel. You might sweat around them. Because they're "Hot".

5. The Mugger Maxima

Background knowlege

School is nothing for them. They understand everything the teacher is explaining in class even before she does so.

In their free time they think about which book to read next. But then again, they don't have free time.

Quote:

"I believe the relevant authorities are morally obliged to abolish certain school rules and regulations, for example the setting of a quota for the quantity of books that the libraries of each educational institution could possess, in order to facilitate the advanced learning for the more gifted and academically inclined individuals, as it is a basic moral principle that people should get what they need for survival."

Symptoms:

1. Your favourite teacher is yourself.
2. Your idols are: Aristotle, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin, Rene Descartes and so much more.
3. You believe that reading this blog is a waste of time.
4. You have memorised your Lam Peng Kuan and probably wrote a poem to that guy telling him that there are some mistakes in his book.
5. You dying correct the gramatical and speling mistakes this sentence.
6. You want to grow up to get Nobel Prizes for literature, philosophy, physics, biology, and much much more.
7. After school, you don't go home. You always go to the National Library first. Because you've already finished reading the books at the nearby library.
8. Secretly in your room you have drafted out blueprints of "The Hypervelocity Time-Space-Distorting Projectile Launcher"
9. Your favourite song is: "The Unlimited Capacity of the Human Brain" by "Bio Ultima"
10. You have once wanted to commit suicide because you found out that your IQ is 199 instead of 200.
11. Your GPA in IP1 was 8.6 because you are took 2 levels of academic courses at once.

Precautions:
1. Never try to argue with them.
2. Keep your books out of sight.
3. Try not to act smug.
4. Staying out of their sight is still the best policy to undertake.
5. Never let them know that youre blogging about them, or risk getting your blog torn down by the authorities after they've sent a impassioned petition to them.

Well so far this is what I've been able to come up with. If you have any more ideas, feel free to add!

Polaris and xd: the screwed up Singapore Idol

2006-08-17T17:40:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: not for those who love singapore idol

singapore idol is becoming one of the worst reality shows on tv. here at boredlela, Polaris and xd will tell you why.

im pretty sure most of you have watched singapore idol (the 2nd season) at least once or twice. and probably youve given up on it ever since. just why do we think its a poor show? here are some reasons.

1. the (im)balance of talent and appearance.
we noticed that the singapore idol finalists can be classified into 4 categories:

category a:

Good and appealing appearance: yes
Skillz: none

there are many who belong to this category. joakim gomez is a perfect example. he sings flat throughout the competition, covering the high notes unskilfully, but ends up securing his position. what he does best: waxing his hair, making himself look attractive, and, of course, piss people like us off.

paul twohill is not much better, but on the account that he used to be good, we're not gonna talk much about him. (we're also doing this for the sake of not getting ourselves maimed by the twohill cult extremists out there.)

category b:

Appearance: not really good
Skillz: yes

these people rely on their singing skills to stay in the competition, but sadly, they just don't have the looks. for example mathilda. she looks ordinary, if not a little plump. we're really worried if people like these get voted out just because more votes go to the worthless people like joakim. if so, then its really sad le la..

category c:

Appearance: very good
Skillz: very good

(blank)

category d:

Appearance: not so good
Skillz: not so good either...

these people really ~~sad~~ tragic de la! it'd be a miracle if they had somehow stayed in the competition. for example, the forgotten Norman Then. yeah, as his name suggests, he was then, and this is now. that sad guy got voted out in the first round. if i were him, i would have rather not joined the competition.

2. Talents? they are incredibly limited.

how do you extract talents from a country with a total population of 4 million, and an eligible population of roughly 1 million? (im not sure abt this. anyone wants to correct me?) (and out of this number of people, only a few thousand went for the auditions... )

...chances are that you can't. so essentially the aim of this competition is just to find the best of the not-that-good. which, obviously, is not a very good idea.

and, of course, you have bands like jimmy eat world. what are the singapore idol contestants when compared to these good singers? go figure it out.

well, now I know why jimmy eat world ain't a singapore band. (YES, THEY ARE NOT A SINGAPORE BAND.)

3. the judges

sometimes the judges just give the most impossible comments. for example,

singer: im am singing horribly off tune, really off tune, really off tune, yeah!---

judges: what a marvelous rendition of that song! i really loved it! i think you are most suited to perform this genre of music! Keep up the good work! See you in the finals!

Well here's the thing. These 'singapore idols' end up earning their income from endorsing companies such as slimming centres, toothpaste companies and of course who could forget our 7-11 idol? Taufik Batisah, our 7-11 idol!

Apparently he spends more time at 7-11 than he does at a recording studio.

4. the deluded teenagers with their handphones

it gets worse when it comes to voting. teenage girls go for the "hot guys", and just cant help sending text messages to support them. in case you didnt know, each sms costs S$0.60.

the end result:

Singapore Idol: gets a contract with some recording company. he/she is happy.

Teenage girls: EITHER happy that the hottest guy won, OR resent the fact that even though theyve sent a few hundred messages, the hottest guy didnt win.

People like us: lament about the tragedy.

Corporate leaders at Singtel and Mediacorp: have to be rushed to the clinic, suffering from strokes, or dislocated jaws due to excessive laughter. because they just cant believe how naive teenage girls are to have made them insta-rich.

Conclusion:
Singapore Idol is screwed up. and who benefits the most from it? Corporate leaders, polititicians; Kids can't vote, adults elect them.

Except that kids can vote for singapore idol.

And of course, maybe 7-11 will get a new face.

special guest poster - darth honsum: X & Y - The biggest difference in the species of mankind

2006-08-15T21:38:00.000+08:00

In conjunction with IS2107 (Genes and Life) and the recent mutation of wolverong, I have decided to write about the greatest difference in the species of mankind, the X and Y chromosome.

So we all know that guys are guys because of the 23rd pair of chromosome being X-Y, while girls are girls have a X-X pair. Recent observations around the IP level have shed some new light into why girls are just girls, while guys are (still) guys. (in case some have already been eradicated or endangered)

Difference 1: Handwriting
Have you guys (this means everyone) noticed that girls tend to have better handwriting skills? In terms of style and consistency, there is no way that guys can be better. However, do note the definition of handwriting skills can be like… writing the letter “a” like “d”, “u” like “y”. Sometimes, you will find them write so small or (words) so close that you might need a magnifying glass to read it easier.

Difference 2: Decisiveness
Have you guys noticed that girls sometimes tend to be less decisive as guys? There was an outing that me and xd went, and we end up buying some snacks at old chang kee before we get starved by girls who cannot decide where to eat!
1: “let's go Swenson!”
2: “too ex leh”
1: “let's go pastamania”
2: “portion too small larh” (apparently, small portions are not good for girls, too big also no good, funny philosophy of girls)
1(running low in ideas): “let’s go fish and co. !”
2: “HUH? We are at Somerset leh, not Dhoby Ghaut"
1 (quite pissed): “okay, let’s go to Macs…."
2: “SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAT!!!” (But we still love having meetings at KAP for don’t-know what good reason)
1 & 2: “EH! Look at this restaurant… the food not bad leh. Quite Ex, but nevermind larh. Portion quite small… but got aircon wad. The Food shouldn’t be FAT lor hor, at most run more during PE lor”

Guys around: …….
[The end]
As you can see, the biggest difference between males and females all came from two letters… X&Y…
(Disclaimer: the above examples are JUST examples… not referring to every single girl in IP)

xd and Beanbag: Wolverong

2006-08-13T21:24:00.000+08:00

The Top Secret Mutant Dossier

Subject: Wolverong

Height: taller than most of you, but 3 cm of his height is accounted for by his adamantium hair (more on that below).

Weight: = (mass)(g) = (60)(9.81) = 587 N (3 s.f.)

Nationality: Republic of PZR

Status in his Country: PRESIDENT (recall what he did during GC..)[Mutant statistics still unavailable]

Mutant abilities:

1. Flirts around with humans well, especially with IP1 girls. Capable of maintaining up to 10 conversations on msn using a special technique called "hahaing". Here's a piece of research material our scientists managed to acquire. It involves Wolverong using his special technique.

[wolverong] says: halo

girena says: hi.. oh mann today was totally awful.. my friend took my pen away without asking me for permission you now..

[wolverong] says: hahha

girena says: and then during my cca training rite, i fell and sprained my leg.. now its swollen..

[wolverong] says: hahahhaa

girena says: tired.. i think you are disgusting you noe..

[wolverong] says: hahahahah

girena says: can you stop saying haha?

[wolverong] says: wan go for movie tmr?

2. Razor sharp adamantium hair makes wolverong an excellent warrior. Not only his scalp hair is made of adamantium; the hair all over his body is, for example his leg hair.
Case study:Eng Wea Keng, a boy who was attacked by this mutant on the 5th of June last year, had to be rushed to the hospital, suffering serious incisions across his chest after the attack. According to the surgeon, the wounds went as deep as 2 inches. When interviewed, the shell-shocked boy said, "Wolverong.. damn imba. i only asked him if he did his differentiation tutorials, and the next thing i knew, he was lashing at me with his leg hair. and they were razor sharp." Wea Keng has never recovered from his grievous wounds, and still lies in the hospital bed presently.

Accounts from other survivors confirm that Wolverong's main weapon is his leg hair. However, there are some witnesses who claim that they saw Wolverong brushing his hand through is hair in a front-to-back motion. Reasons for this behavior is so far unexplained.

3. WTFBBQPWN regenerating ability renders him invulnerable to any form of damage. But since Wolverong is so imba, on very rare occasions is he hurt physically. However, there are countless times when Wolverong is hurt emotionally, for example, after being rejected by girls. When such a thing occurs, the regerative mechanism automatically kicks in, and heals whatever emotional damage that the girl dealt to him. Even when a girl gives him a fully-fledged insult which might force any other guy to commit suicide, Wolverong would spring back with frightening speed, ready to take on any new challenges (and new relationships).

In conclusion, Wolverong is a highly dangerous mutant, with even higher research value. It would be a service to mankind if we are able to hold him captive and dissect (metaphorically) him for technological research. Which is never possible, coz he's too imba...

xd: it is EXTREMELY VITAL that you read this if you are using any instant messengers.

2006-08-13T12:13:00.000+08:00

the haha stalemate (i made up this name.)

alternative names: the lol/hahahha/hah/hey-heh/rofl/lmao/wth/wtf stalemate (this list is not exhaustive, as there are dunno thousands permutations for "h" and "a")

im sure you people have encountered a lot of haha stalemates before (just that you dont know how to call it), and found it unpleasant afterwards, as if you have serious communication problems or that you are drifting apart from the person youve just talked to.

but xd says, its just natural. :D (species: trioculus monomouthous supersmileous) the stalemate is caused by the natural human problem of anticipation. the anticipation of the other party to make a first move before you follow.

and its definitely not your communication problem, coz you know well that if the other party talks again you'll probably flood the whole window with your messages.

so what is a haha stalemate? here's an illustration (not from an actual conversation): <-- this is an accidenta frownus (an unintentional sad face)

i am person A says:
after that we had to go to coro to buy the stuff. and it cost us 20 bucks! i

am person A says:
wth..

i am person B says:
haha

(10 minutes later...)

last line in the conversation window:

i am person B says:
haha

somehow, instructed by an INCREDIBLY STRONG UNKNOWN SUPERNATURAL FORCE, none of either party is inclined to contribute more to the conversation.

im sure you'd feel extremely awkard after this.

Prevention methods:

1. try to force a new topic for discussion. (eg have you watched this movie yet?)
2. once you feel you have no ability to chat further, allow for a smooth "hey i gotta go now, goodnite!"
3. BUT THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD IS: STOP SAYING HAHA !!

i hope this chapter of "MSN conversation basics: peacefully maintaining a conversation online" has benefited you. we look forward to providing you with more insights on online chatting. thank you and have a nice day.

and a haha stalemate-free day too.

haha

I'm an Emo Kid.

2006-08-13T11:58:00.000+08:00

Hello,
I'm kind of the n00b here because i kind of just joined...

so this is my first post.

HELLO!

Dear diary,

mood: disasterous.

I am repeatedly playing Kill and Work over and over again on my playlist.
Turns out Jimmy Eat World isn't a Singapore band.
It sucks 'cos they play some of my favourite songs like
Kill and
Work.

I'm kidding, i'm not emo.

on a random note, I'd like to congratulate Arsene Wenger's intelligence and Borussia Dortmund's retardedness. sucks to them, Arsenal roxxors and so does Tomas Rosicky.

National day holiday: what kind of holiday was yours? a few scenarios:

Scenario 1:

Wow! Celebrations ended early. I spent the afternoon researching on my Humans, Language Arts, Bio and Chemistry projects. What a relief!
I spent the rest of my free time reading "The crucible". It's a great book, really! I can't WAIT to meet my project groups over the next 2 days. The very thought of coming together as a group to do projects just EXCITES me!

When should i mug for differentiation and complete my physics assignment? What about my MI paper? Nevermind, I've probably done all of those already! Time to kick back, relax and mug for the interim test for P&C!

sucks to you if you're in scenario 1.

Scenario 2:

DAMN CB LAH the STDs are damn disgusting! UGH i hate the crucible. what a boring book. i shall go burn it later.

MI paper topics damn hard! SIANX DE LA.
Later still have to meet for Geog project, LA project, Chem project, Bio poster. On top of that, i have to finish my elective homework!

No time to blog. Another day!

Sucks to you if yours was like that too.

Scenario 3:

You sucker. I think you crazy.

Holidays are for going out!

Sorry, no time to blog. Going out to meet BRB, then having lunch with AFK, movie with GTG, dinner with TTYL and LAN with KNN,BB and CCB!

haha. scenario 3 knows how to have fun.

On another note, I'd like to add on on Xd's haha stalemate.

余文聪
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　boredlela.blogspot.com成员
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　长颈路96号
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　新加坡邮区667788

(Insert any random name here)
Hillcrest 路 37 号
新加坡邮区288913

XX:

邀请：参加"haha stalemate"纠正运动

　　你好。我是来自国家初级学院的一个学生，我写这封信的目的是来邀请大家参加我们"boredlela.blogspot.com"举办的"haha stalemate"纠正运动。

　　我认为大家在利用"MSN messenger"是，通常用"haha"来表达他们的兴奋。我不反对他们这样作，但是他们后来就不type了。不是说"haha"会把你变成retarded呢？

　　所以，我们就举办这个纠正运动来帮助大家，避免他们变成retarded的人。

　　我知道我们这样做是很伟大，但是你不用这么感激，我们只是doing our job而已。

　　我希望全世界会参加我们的运动，及时避免他们变成retarded的毛病。

　　谢谢。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　文聪启
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　2006年8月13日

Do your part! Don't type "haha" in conversations anymore!

haha.

Beanbag: liquidgeneration

2006-08-10T08:54:00.000+08:00

http://www.liquidgeneration.com
They have a few interesting quiz-tests here.
Apparently, i'm an R2-D2, among other things.

xd: emo on national day

2006-08-09T16:32:00.000+08:00

dear diary,

mood: paranoid

i have my worries. i guess we all do.

a recent series of events triggered this consortium of worries. they had surfaced once, but burrowed themselves within me shortly after. until now, they have been hiding, lying dormant somewhere in my subconsiousness. waiting. waiting for a chance for a second strike.

and once again, im haunted.

it started after the job planning exercise. subtly, they had awakened, but their movements hardly detectable to my dulled senses. then came the chinese test. by then, they had fully formed their ranks. preparing for the imminent strike. and today. a seemingly normal conservation struck me unexpectedly hard. jem had asked, "why not train your chinese?"

they seized the opportunity well. with frightening speed and intensity, they launched their assault, tearing my inner world into chaos.

they are triumphing. i can hear their mockery, their laughs.

they watch how i shrivel with fright.

im worried about my future. im uncertain whether i would do well for the o levels. and im terrified by how little i have done. how unskilled i am.

and they now tell me about my future.

after the o levels, i would become a jc student, troubled by the a levels. after graduation it would be a tough 2 years in the military. next comes university. then work. id raise a family, and age with time. soon a watch wouldnt be necessary. the sun's position would suffice. then, even the sun wouldnt be necessary. a calendar would be all that's required. id watch my kids grow, and they would watch me wither with age. time goes on, and the expiry date draws near...

haha..

in the end nothing matters. what for being so worried? that's life for you, and rejoice that youre not an animal or a starving kid in some third world country. be content with what you have.

so they arent my enemies. they are part of me. no. i am part of them. so i turn away, and, with equanimity, i drift into their company...

xd and Beanbag: very bored on national day eve

2006-08-08T10:46:00.000+08:00

newspaper report (报章报道): 年轻人 nowadays have little national pride 比较 to the 前一辈。试谈谈your的看法。

读了这篇报导，我百感交集。我觉得，作为任何一个国家的人, 最基本的，就是要尊敬自己的国家，并且热爱她，为她付出一切，因为只有这样才能have world peace的。想想看，如果每个人都不爱祖国，以一种自私的态度面对任何事，这世界还会美好吗？(actually yeah)

说个故事给你听吧。从前，有一个singapore人，名叫嬲rong。他出国留学。有一天，跟同学交流的时候，被friend问道：
“Are you singapore人？”
“去死吧！”
“WTF？！”
“dees guy ah.. full of cock, man!”
然后，他死了。

这故事说明了什么道理呢？我们应该爱国！

中耳炎之，我们应该从那singapore人的故事吸取教训，不不爱国。所以，我认为新加坡年轻人应该热爱祖国！

Beanbag: post 1

2006-08-06T20:43:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to add a tagboard and maybe change the template abit.

*supposed to* :D that's a monomouthus supersmileophus (more on that some other time)

Now there's this ever-increasing homework list that i have on my desktop, and at least I've cleared one item out - physics assignment.

Currently bogged down with LA, but enjoying it. Photoshopping poor people and cars.

xd: post 1

2006-08-06T14:09:00.000+08:00

on impulse, i created this blog with kaisheng.

i guess i'm just seriously bored. nothing better to do. probably infected by johnson's "im stuck in a hostel, cant surf the net coz some administration buggers persistently fail to realise the apocalyptic effects on teenagers of not restoring the internet browser, cant sustain a conversation with my roommates for more than 5 minutes, and im just entrenched in deadly boredom" attitude.

i would love to write about how life really sucks these days {relative to life in obs [im sure everyone would feel the same (most of you, actually.)]}, but that's not the point of this blog. the point of this blog is... well, for me, its an avenue to communicate the people ive never talked to and will probably never talk to online, for example... that kid who lives on a farm with his two sisters, a brother and his parents in san francisco, california. and, of course, to relieve my boredom.

actually this blog is also sort of inspired by the blog that belongs to the 2 vjc guys, john and denys. fauxnatism.blogspot.com if im not wrong. those guys are really imba. great blog they maintain over there. and anw, kaisheng and i would try our best to do something like that.

oh and speaking of that, some of you may want to join this blog. for fun. well, maybe youre the johnson kind of person who would now and then like to express yourself but dont want to have your own blog coz its tedious work.

Well, if you would want to sign up for this, please mail your name, NRIC number, and personal particulars to the following address:

20 Farrer Road, Mediacorp Studios, Singapore 31337

Submission deadline: 30 September 2006. Each mail costs $0.60. kids below 18 should seek parents' permission.

jk. lame ar? anyway, if you are interested, just tag the tagboard and we'll give you the username and password.

update: sorry, we cant let any more people join our blogging team alr. too many administrators would just mess up the blog. even if you dont intend to :( but good news is, you can still contribute to the blog by sending anyone of us your entries. we'd be more than pleased to help you post it on this blog. heh. write anything you want :) -xd

haha. ive just finished the first post. feel so much better now that ive got something meaningful to spend my time on. gtg le. bb.